In the name of social justice, it is important to quash all the good Christmas feelings and instead find something at which to take offense.
As my patient convulsed, this Nazi-sympathizing virus-denier who attended Sturgis and several illegal Thanksgivings said, ‘I should have voted for Biden.’
People keep telling me that these choices are going to have lasting, long-term, negative effects on my child. Come on, man. Kids are adaptable.
I’m not a student at Georgia State University, but I’m offended anyway.
The reality is that anyone who demands ‘evidence’ — itself a term invented by slaveowners to assert dominion over oppressed minorities — hates this country and the Constitution I swore an oath to defend.
Its trajectory, as with Dr. Fauci himself, proceeded from roughly the middle of the mound into a definite curve, landing firmly to his left.
Why stop at the Cleveland Indians or Texas Rangers? When you think about it, every single team name in Major League Baseball is irredeemably offensive.
Joe Biden’s failure to wear a medical face mask is a blatant example of toxic masculinity.
The latest announcement was the most recent of a series of changes beginning with the indefinite suspension of all public Masses and the abolition of meatless Fridays in Lent.
When we’re awake at 4 a.m. on Christmas morning, our Lululemon athleisure wear hugging every crevice of our hard, angular bodies, where will you be? In bed wasting oxygen. That’s where.
You can shake my hand and feel my flesh gripping yours and maybe even sense our lifestyles are comparable.
Any similarities to candidate comments made after this article has published is merely evidence of the author’s clairvoyance.
The fact-checking website Snopes.com, wrote a “fact-check” article questioning the satirical nature of the Babylon Bee.
We, the workers of Sandernista International Local 101, demand fair and equal treatment from our employer, Bernie Sanders.
The new Netflix original mini-series exposes the dark heart of American hatred with all the trappings of ‘Law and Order’ we love.
America, New York City needs you. Please take Bill de Blasio off of our hands.
If we don’t surrender our rights and hand control of the economy over to the state, the world will pretty much be over by Tuesday morning.
Even Richard Dawkins tweeted it would be immoral to have a child who would suffer because of his genetics. I’m sure we’re on solid ground here.
As The Greatest Living American Writer, I accept TIME’s Person Of The Year Award on behalf of all writers, journalists, and writers who write about journalism,
American voters aren’t first graders. Giving them a sticker to vote is condescending and wrong.
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