In 2020, you have a choice. You can go for those who want to play Johnny Appleseed or you can go for those who have your ability to breathe freely in mind.

Bell’s shenanigans were downright anodyne and something that should have been laughed off, but apparently if there’s one thing a true warrior can’t handle, it’s aromatherapy.

If you’re looking for a ‘legitimate’ candidate for president, I’m an option.

The year was 1986. That’s when the early signs of a revolution emerged in the form of Cool Ranch Doritos.

Only one can rock a turtleneck, win six Super Bowls, and beclown Roger Goodell with ease. And he shall have no equals.

When it comes to making the perfect quiche, you’ll need a few things. An apron. A windbreaker. A gas leak. Don’t worry about the fact that the list doesn’t make sense yet. It will.

Work requirements for able-bodied adults have immense potential to lift low-income families up and help them break the cycle of dependency.

The Alabama Crimson Tide’s Nick Saban will coach another championship team, so long as it’s not in the NFL.

‘You say it’s your birthday? It’s my birthday, too.’

It would be better if he didn’t want to wish us a Merry Christmas. Points for not successfully making the War on Christmas a real thing even if he’s really, really trying to?

The stockings are hung, possibly with care. That’s not really my concern. They don’t even have to be hung, as not everyone has a chimney.

If things don’t seem to make sense, that’s a feature.

You probably had no idea that you were dunking your cookies into a cold glass of white supremacy.

Producer: ‘Facebook is censoring this story and destroying our attempts to get the news about this film out to the public.’

You want the truth? You can’t handle the truth. About tortillas.

Highlighted by an original Ben Folds song about Rod Rosenstein, the WaPo feature offers a play, some poetry, some illustrations, a graphic novel, and tote bag from a 2011 PBS drive.

Maybe Colin Kaepernick should hold off on the whole ‘sacrificing everything’ line, especially since he’s getting schooled by another entertainer on actually producing results.

All that stands between you and Earth 2 is yourself. And a robot army. Don’t forget the explosives.

If Batman is about to become the C.S. Lewis of crime-fighting due to the crisis of faith evinced, that plotline isn’t evident in Issue 53.

The open office eschews even the ephemeral privacy of the cube farm and replaces it with all disruptions, all the time. They won’t produce a body count, probably.