The Shapeless Banality Of Quarantine Takes Place In New York City
It’s only been a week and already quarantine is getting pretty old.
How The Greatest Living American Writer Endures His Quarantine
I’m proud to be part of a long tradition of productive plague authors. As I gaze upon the valley below from the parapets of Mount Winchester, I am alone with my prose. And my health.
Exclusive Interview With Coronavirus: ‘I’m Very Proud Of My Chinese Heritage’
I decided to go directly to the source. I reached out to the coronavirus, who is currently living in an undisclosed location on the East Coast.
Latest Democratic Debate A Rerun Of ‘Grumpy Old Men’
Would last night’s democratic debate feel any different if the candidates’ suits were replaced with cardigans and their podiums traded in for recliners?
The Gen X Guide To Quarantine
Gen X is uniquely suited to handle the panic of a global pandemic. Here are some tips for the rest of you.
Trump Deranged Blue Checkmarks Get Punked By Obviously Fake Coronavirus Quote
Many verified Twitter users fall victim to the daily barrage of propaganda that comes out from anti-Trump corporate media.
This Week In Weird Twitter, Volume 132
Albert, the hero of our story, never set out to be a sentient wooden leg. He never even set out to be sentient.
Mike Bloomberg To Buy Ad Space In Your Dreams
After a sluggish debate performance the Bloomberg campaign is launching new ads targeted at sleeping voters.
At Impeachment Trial, A Special Species Goes On Rare Display
Hopefully, the copious notes I took while watching the Senate’s impeachment trial will allow future generations to benefit from these important scientific insights.
Liberal Hacks Compete For 2020’s Top (Or Worst?) Pundit Award
The other matchup that jumps out at me is the possibility of Jennifer Rubin matching up with her Washington Post teammate Max Boot with the Final Four on the line.
5 Perfect Ways To Celebrate Trump’s Inevitable Acquittal
Acquittal Day is just around the corner. Here are some tips to make the most of yours.
Cardi B Might Just Be More Qualified For Congress Than AOC Is
While Cardi B’s grammar is far from perfect, her life experiences suggest she’s more qualified to be in Congress than Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez.
This Week In Weird Twitter, Volume 131
As the moon rises, another shirt and pair of shoes get ruined.
I Survived 12 Hours In Twitter Prison For Daring Iran To Attack America
I did my time, and lessons were learned.
There’s A Very Real Reason The Phrase ‘As A Millennial’ Fills Us With Contempt
Word for word, ‘as a millennial’ might seem as innocuous a sentence-starter as any. Playful, maybe. No harm in it. That just makes it worse.
Who’s Up For A Roaring ’20s?
The Roaring Twenties was the most fun, dynamic, and frivolous decade in American history. Let’s make a new one.
This Week In Weird Twitter, Volume 130
If I couldn’t be trusted to prevent a stuffed bear from stealing my car, then how could I be trusted to stop Nicolas Cage from stealing the Constitution?
I Own A Peloton Bike, And I’m Better Than You
When we’re awake at 4 a.m. on Christmas morning, our Lululemon athleisure wear hugging every crevice of our hard, angular bodies, where will you be? In bed wasting oxygen. That’s where.
The Hardware Store Proves We’ll Never Erase The Sexes From Our Language
You see, I needed a self-centering hole locator to finish a rim joist on the deck we were building, and a pipe nipple, ballcock, and pipe dope for some plumbing repairs. I also needed to buttress a groin vault.
This Week In Weird Twitter, Volume 129
It’s fall, which means it’s time to pick apples and steal cars.
- More People Died From Suicide Than Coronavirus In Tennessee This WeekConstant doomsday predictions, economic stress and impocontinue reading >
- The Scientist Whose Doomsday Pandemic Model Predicted Armageddon Just Walked Back The Apocalyptic PredictionsAfter both the U.S. and U.K. governments effectively shcontinue reading >
- Inaccurate Virus Models Are Panicking Officials Into Ill-Advised LockdownsHow a handful of Democratic activists created alarming,continue reading >
