The Saga Of NBA Player Jordan Bell Reminds Us That Pranks Are Good
Bell’s shenanigans were downright anodyne and something that should have been laughed off, but apparently if there’s one thing a true warrior can’t handle, it’s aromatherapy.
This Week In Weird Twitter, Volume 122
If you’re looking for a ‘legitimate’ candidate for president, I’m an option.
Why The Right Should Adore Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez With Every Fiber Of Their Beings
My adoration knows no bounds. Alexandria, you are the best thing that’s happened to the conservative movement since California politicians four times your age discovered Botox.
Six 100 Percent Legal Ways To Help Your Kids Get Into Elite Colleges
No need to bribe officials or Photoshop photos of your kids playing water polo. You should encourage them to be progressive activists instead!
Why My Wife And I Decided To Abort Our Unborn Gay Son
Even Richard Dawkins tweeted it would be immoral to have a child who would suffer because of his genetics. I’m sure we’re on solid ground here.
Charles Barkley Mocks Jussie Smollett: He Should’ve Just Gone To Liam Neeson’s Neighborhood
“America, let me just tell you something: Do not commit crimes with checks,” Charles Barkley joked on TNT’s NBA halftime show Thursday night.
This Week In Weird Twitter, Volume 121
The year was 1986. That’s when the early signs of a revolution emerged in the form of Cool Ranch Doritos.
Atlantic Writer Tweets Trump Assassination Fantasy
Jemelle Hill’s tweet during the State of the Union implied that Rep. Ocasio-Cortez should participate in a conspiracy to assassinate President Trump.
World’s Greatest Living Writer Obsequiously Apologizes For His Unpublished YA Novel
My publisher sent advance pages of my book to judgmental Goodreads critics and other young-adult writers who live angrily in small apartments. An enormous scandal erupted.
This Week In Weird Twitter, Volume 120
When it comes to making the perfect quiche, you’ll need a few things. An apron. A windbreaker. A gas leak. Don’t worry about the fact that the list doesn’t make sense yet. It will.
The Beto Diaries
An unpublished journal entry by Texas congressman and liberal darling Beto O’Rouke provides startling insight into the mind of the failed Senate candidate and formidable presidential contender.
Woke Progressives Turn Their Public Shaming Ritual Into A Formal Religious Ceremony
In these latter days, the greatest way to atone for the sins of uninclusivity is found inside a church known as the Cathedral of Blessed Wokery, currently meeting in a 55,000-square-foot Malibu mansion.
A Comprehensive Round-Up Of The Best ‘Chuck And Nancy’ Memes
‘Chuck and Nancy’ gave the Internet plenty to talk about in their response to President Trump’s immigration address on Tuesday.
It’s Official: Louis C.K. Must Be Stopped
While I’d never heard of Louis C.K. before yesterday and am still unclear as to who he might be, there’s no doubt that his so-called humor inflames me to the point of angina.
This Week In Weird Twitter, Volume 119
‘You say it’s your birthday? It’s my birthday, too.’
This Week In Weird Twitter, Volume 118
The stockings are hung, possibly with care. That’s not really my concern. They don’t even have to be hung, as not everyone has a chimney.
Chuck Todd Says He Will Change The Direction Your Toilet Paper Hangs
MSNBC host Chuck Todd actually believes that toilet paper should hang in the ‘under’ position and will force his senseless ways on you too.
Church Of England’s Transgender Baptisms Blaze Trail For 3 More Blasphemous Rites
It’s time to stop marginalizing the Christians in polyamorous lifestyles, for example. We must institute ‘Holy Throupling’ to fully sanctify their love.
Catholic Senior Living Center Bans Residents From Saying ‘Merry Christmas’
A senior living center has banned its residents from saying ‘Merry Christmas’ and displaying any Christmas cards or religious decor in common areas.
Why Eating Rice Is The No. 1 Cultural Appropriation Guilt Trip
If you eat rice, you should be ashamed of yourself. You are stealing from so many cultures at once that you might not even know who to apologize to.
- 7 Ways The Mueller Report Exposed The Media’s ‘Bombshell’ Fake News StoriesWhen Special Counsel Robert Mueller released his 448-pacontinue reading >
- CNN Can’t Do The Mueller Report MathLook at this chyron from CNN last night. Notice anythincontinue reading >
- There Are No Moderate Democratic Presidential Candidates For 2020In a party that is tilting hard to the left, moderationcontinue reading >
