We Must Ban These Christmas Classics To Please The Wokesters
In the name of social justice, it is important to quash all the good Christmas feelings and instead find something at which to take offense.
Let Me Tell You A Very Real ER Story That Confirms All My Political Dogmas
As my patient convulsed, this Nazi-sympathizing virus-denier who attended Sturgis and several illegal Thanksgivings said, ‘I should have voted for Biden.’
How The Gretch Stole Christmas
Because the only way to be on the ‘Nice’ list this Christmas is to mask up and avoid your loved ones at all costs.
I Keep My Kid Locked In The Apartment. So What? (An Op-Ed From 2019)
People keep telling me that these choices are going to have lasting, long-term, negative effects on my child. Come on, man. Kids are adaptable.
Georgia State University’s Exclusion Of My Helicopter Pronouns From 50 Other Choices Is An Act Of Violence
I’m not a student at Georgia State University, but I’m offended anyway.
Top 5 Worst Christmas Song Lyrics Ever
Christmastime is filled with great music, but here are five lyrics that deserve coal in the songwriter’s stocking.
6 Biggest Turkeys Of 2020 Politics
Thanksgiving is a time to look back in gratitude on all that has been good in the past year. It’s also a chance to award the bad — and politicians have given lots from which to pick.
My Open Apology To Wajahat Ali On Behalf Of All Trump Voters
I know we disappointed you. I mean, what is the point of living in a free country if there are going to be dumb people who don’t want to submit to single-party rule?
An Oral History Of Watching CNN This Election Week
Of course, Election Night can only mean one thing: CNN, the Comedy News Network, which has always been the funniest parody of newscasting on TV.
Like My Friend Franz Kafka, I’ve Got The Best COVID Rules For Joe Biden
Restaurants must close at 10 p.m., except on Wednesdays, when they must close at 9 p.m., and Sundays, when they must close at 3 p.m. but cannot open until 4 p.m.
If Biden Wins, What Will Republicans Be Looting On Election Night?
Brooks Brothers? Cabela’s? As anger at the prospect of a Biden presidency courses through conservative veins, what stores should we expect to be targeted?
A Day In The Life Of An Anonymous Resistance Member Inside The Trump Administration
The reality is that anyone who demands ‘evidence’ — itself a term invented by slaveowners to assert dominion over oppressed minorities — hates this country and the Constitution I swore an oath to defend.
WI Democrat Caught Lobbing Vile Attacks With Secret Twitter Account
Wauwatosa, Wisconsin, Alderwoman Heather Kuhl was reportedly caught running a secret, now-deleted Twitter account where she routinely posted profane, unhinged attacks on Republicans.
Saving Lives By Doing Absolutely Nothing Is My Best Achievement Yet
COVID-19 will never be over. We’re in for the longest, hardest, saddest winter since Joseph Stalin and Walter Duranty danced a jig together in Moscow.
ABC: Joe Biden Isn’t Senile, You Guys, That’s Just What The Russians Want You To Think
If talking about Biden’s mental fitness is a Russian scheme, what other seemingly legitimate concerns might the Kremlin be planting in our minds? Preferring lower taxes?
Dear NASA: Don’t Stop With Renaming The ‘Eskimo Nebula.’ Probe Uranus, Too
In 2020, there is no element of life too small or too trivial to not get outraged over. It’s time for us to be the change we want to see in the universe.
New Yorkers Get To Complain About New York. You Don’t
Nobody in New York City cares what you think, so stop talking about it.
LOL You Guys! Every Reporters’ BFF Just Took Over Joe’s Brain And They Are STOKED
We all have texting buddies, and most reporters have assignment editors, but imagine if those two combined into one super cool friend who might be headed to the White House.
Watch Ryan Long’s New Hilarious Video Making Fun Of Woke Silicon Valley
Ryan Long, a New York City comedian, filmmaker, and creator of a recent viral video calling out the out-of-control ‘social justice’ movement, is back at it.
Dr. Fauci’s Genius Opening Pitch Highlights His Social Distancing Prowess
Its trajectory, as with Dr. Fauci himself, proceeded from roughly the middle of the mound into a definite curve, landing firmly to his left.
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