My Irish Catholic Family Is Why I Suck At Zoom
Growing up in Irish Catholic in Philly, I learned how to fight. So I was not prepared for the tepid atmosphere of Zoom.
A Handy Guide To Writing The NeverTrump Column
Are you a NeverTrump “conservative” who wants to be a journalist? This guide has you covered.
How Coronavirus Would Transform These Famous American Sayings
‘We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their government with certain Rights that may only be rescinded if exercising those Rights carries any risk.’
What Our Post-COVID World Must Look Like
We must build a society based on what I call ‘rational kindness combined with government-mandated contact tracing.’
Joe Biden Must Wear A Face Mask Right Now
Joe Biden’s failure to wear a medical face mask is a blatant example of toxic masculinity.
Greatest Living American Writer: We Will Never Be Safe Until We Are Safe
If you do one thing wrong during this pandemic, you will die. But we must be steadfast and brave, and bravery means staying at home forever.
Which Of These 8 Types Of Virtual Churchgoers Are You?
People who regularly would attend in person are now learning how to do it from home. But just as there are distinct types of people for in-person worship, there are distinct types of worshipers online.
My Brilliant Nine-Phase Retractable Plan For Reopening The Nation
Restaurants will reopen, but only for one customer at a time. Shopkeepers must shoot pre-purchased goods out of a T-shirt cannon, and we can only catch them if we’re wearing gloves.
The World’s Greatest Living Pandemic Expert Takes The Podium
Did anyone listen to me? No. But they’re listening to me now. And I’ve suddenly become quite expensive.
5 Tips For Taking Up Smoking To Fight Coronavirus
As studies inform us that smokers are having better coronavirus results, these tips can help you take up the habit.
Is Anyone Else Having Strange Dreams In Isolation?
Sleep experts report an uptick in lucid dreaming during the coronavirus crisis. I know what they mean.
Catholic Bishops Forbid Making Sign Of The Cross: ‘You Could Poke Your Eye Out And Go Blind’
The latest announcement was the most recent of a series of changes beginning with the indefinite suspension of all public Masses and the abolition of meatless Fridays in Lent.
69 Things Virginians Can Do For Their 69 Days Of Lockdown
These lockdown activities won’t keep Virginians sane, but they will make their impending descent into madness more entertaining.
The Shapeless Banality Of Quarantine Takes Place In New York City
It’s only been a week and already quarantine is getting pretty old.
How The Greatest Living American Writer Endures His Quarantine
I’m proud to be part of a long tradition of productive plague authors. As I gaze upon the valley below from the parapets of Mount Winchester, I am alone with my prose. And my health.
Exclusive Interview With Coronavirus: ‘I’m Very Proud Of My Chinese Heritage’
I decided to go directly to the source. I reached out to the coronavirus, who is currently living in an undisclosed location on the East Coast.
Latest Democratic Debate A Rerun Of ‘Grumpy Old Men’
Would last night’s democratic debate feel any different if the candidates’ suits were replaced with cardigans and their podiums traded in for recliners?
The Gen X Guide To Quarantine
Gen X is uniquely suited to handle the panic of a global pandemic. Here are some tips for the rest of you.
Trump Deranged Blue Checkmarks Get Punked By Obviously Fake Coronavirus Quote
Many verified Twitter users fall victim to the daily barrage of propaganda that comes out from anti-Trump corporate media.
This Week In Weird Twitter, Volume 132
Albert, the hero of our story, never set out to be a sentient wooden leg. He never even set out to be sentient.
- Thousands Of Churches Are About To Defy Lockdown Orders. It’s About TimeChurchgoers across the country are reasserting their fucontinue reading >
- ‘Relapses Are Through The Roof, Overdoses Are Through The Roof’: How The Pandemic Is Upping Substance Abuse'You take rehab.com—our website traffic is up 382 percontinue reading >
- The Deeply American Reason The Oldest Saloon West Of The Mississippi Won’t Have To Shut Down ForeverStarting life before there was a town as four walls andcontinue reading >
