When you go to a play, you get what you deserve.

Could it be that Jonathan Nichols, Joy Reid’s cybersecurity expert, didn’t consider the possibility of time travel? Of course not. The truth is out there, just stop believing your lying eyes.

Never hire a jerboa to be your au pair, unless you love awesomeness.

A man driving on roads he paid for found a way to circumvent Big Brother, and is now being sent to prison for his ingenuity. For eight months.

The conversation was not to get far, not least because of the disparate opinions represented by those sitting around the round table, if not the Round Table.

If Kanye wants to extol individualism, while Kim and Chance offer support, then maybe the American experiment is still doing alright.

People do not give it credence that a 42-year-old man would head off into such conditions, but I will say it did not seem so strange then, although I will say it did not happen every day.

If you’re going to take over the eastern seaboard, you’ll need two things: crème eggs, and a flamethrower.

Regardless of your feelings on the Alliance of American Football, at least it doesn’t include Roger Goodell.

So you’re an escaped hologram and you have a capybara.

Even if your spirit animal is a sloth, you can still accomplish some stuff.

When you want a small cornucopia of protest non-sequiturs strung together in musical form, you want artisanal mediocrity from a human.

‘Starfire’ is wistful, even as it drives along. There is always hope, particularly as we learn to settle down and stop fighting.

If you’re going to go to a party, you might as well cause a scene.

They slid down the chimney and shimmied into a hallway. There, they found a door ajar. In it, a pair of sisters sat, one on the bed and one on the trundle.

Were August Ames merely run out of a job, we wouldn’t be talking about it—because that has become pretty commonplace. We got our sacrifice. And now it’s bigger.

We’re children of the ‘90s. We need an enemy-crushing soundtrack, and we need it to rock. Vast Asteroid has got us covered.

Yes, it’s just another battle with the commissioner, but battle is how the war is won.

In the words David Lee Roth, ‘I cannot get there from here, baby.’ Sometimes Dave got things wrong.

The ladies had their say, now it’s our turn. Sure, we could just trust Dave Chappelle on this, but he’s not detailed enough for the fairer sex.