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Dear Joe Biden: I Don’t Need Your Permission To Celebrate Independence Day


As you’re likely aware, unless you’re a student studying history via Zoom, the Declaration of Independence dropped on July 4, 1776. It’s a righteous document that contains some very important statements, such as this:

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of Happiness.

On Mar. 11, 2020, President Joe Biden told us, with regard to COVID panic, “If we do this together, by July the 4th, there’s a good chance you, your family, and friends will be able to get together in your backyard or park and celebrate Independence Day.”

Sorry, homie, but last I checked, COVID-19-era emergency powers notwithstanding, this is still America and you’re still just our president, not our king. That’s not your decision to make.

The increasingly indistinguishable difference between presidents and kings aside, we modern citizens abide, mostly. Our patience starts to run thin, though, when a president tries to tell us that we can maybe celebrate Independence Day if we just listen to him and to the people micromanaging our lives in the past year, even as they get more and more ridiculous and no matter how much they mislead us.

Let’s Line the Path of Good Intentions with M-80s

As such, the time for listening is over. Instead, it’s time for us, as a people and a nation, to stop looking to our purported servants for permission to enjoy life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness together. The intentions of our would-be overlords may be all fine and dandy, but there’s an old saying about good intentions, and the past year has given us a whole slew of examples of where that path leads.

That we cannot abide. So, we need to make some changes. For starters, it’s time to start ignoring the Centers for Disease Control again. Eat raw cookie dough, have a few beers, and see your friends. It’s our right as Americans to do so.

After that, we need to remember that we don’t need anyone’s permission to celebrate, whether it’s our independence, a birthday, or just because it’s Thursday. We’re not children who require someone to tell us when it’s okay to gather with friends and family.

So, no, Joe, no. We shall not bend the knee. Independence Day is ours and you can’t take it from us. We were mostly good last year. We celebrated in responsible ways. We’ve put in our 52 weeks to flatten the curve. Now, it’s time for us to remember what it means to be Americans.

That Was Then, This is Now

Last year, on the Fourth of July, I loaded the kids in my car, masks in hand, and headed to the closest fireworks stand. I bought so many that my kids — my kids! — were curious about the quantity. I told them it was Independence Day and that I was sick of people ragging on the greatest nation in the world. We weren’t going to “1619 Project” the holiday. No, by God, we were going to celebrate.

We headed home and I informed the neighbors that I’d be setting off a cornucopia of high-flying sparklers and fountains that evening (since I have all daughters, I usually don’t go Homer Simpson on the Fourth, which is probably safer, so I guess I don’t totally ignore every risk-averse precaution put forth by bureaucrats). When the time came, and as everyone was still socially distancing at the time, our neighbors pulled lawn chairs out in their respective driveways and watched me light up the night sky. It was glorious.

This year, I’m not sure how we’ll celebrate. We recently moved and the rumor is the neighbor directly behind us puts on a professional-grade show. I probably won’t try to compete with that, because I’m not into taking out loans for fireworks displays. What I can do, though, is invite a bunch of people over to sit on the deck and watch from a prime location.

Whether in Protest or Celebration, Fire Up the Grill

Our rights, our freedoms, and the choice to gather with friends and family don’t come from the government. They don’t come from man. They are inalienable and they are self-evident, even if too many are doing their best to ignore those truths.

America isn’t just the greatest country on the planet, it’s the greatest country in the history of the planet. And if the government says we can’t celebrate that, we’ll just protest them telling us we can’t celebrate. We’ll be fine. Protesting is totally different than gathering kith and kin for patriotic bonhomie.

We’ll fire up the grill, have a few libations, maybe even eat some raw cookie dough. While our nation may be fractured at the moment, if we the people can defiantly come together to remember all she is and all she offers, we may just remember why she is a beacon of hope and freedom to the world.