Don’t Drink Grey Goose Unless You’re A College Drunk
Contra your neighborhood hipster bar, there is no such thing as ‘craft vodka.’ Vodka is vodka, and there are only two kinds of it at the end of the day.
The Discerning Gentleman’s Guide To A Fancy And Sensitive Thanksgiving Whiskey Drunk
It’s a special occasion, so this Thanksgiving we’re doing an apple-based whiskey as well as an orange one.
The Discerning Gentleman’s Guide To A (Tough But Also Sensitive) Classic Daiquiri
This is how you make the classic daiquiri, as manly a fruit drink as you’re going to find this side of a skull-shaped tiki bar.
Dear Governor Cuomo: Chicken Wings Are Indeed A Meal
Obviously the governor has never seen this video or ever eaten a plate of wings. If he had, he would know the truth about crowd-pleasing chicken wings.
The Discerning Gentleman’s Guide To A Vaguely Offensive Cinco De Mayo
Cinco de Mayo is America’s favorite excuse to drink tequila, not that you need one. Here’s how to take cold shots and make homemade margaritas
Organic Food Alarmism Looks Pretty Stupid During A Global Pandemic
Moms know they and their children are vulnerable like never before. So it’s time to put away childish things, like virtue signaling, and pay attention to real solutions.
Stanley Tucci Is A Wonderful Actor But Please I Beg You Do Not Shake Your Negroni
Watch as Tucci bruises the Negroni to death, yielding a cloudy, frozen, dead soldier of a cocktail, much more to do with ice and gin well-crafted drink.
Dear Nancy Pelosi, You Don’t Need To Pay $13 A Pint For Good Ice Cream
Bad optics and lacking leadership during this time of crisis aside, someone needs to tell the House speaker there are better, cheaper options to stock her freezer with.
When The Doomsday Preppers Steal All The Chicken, Try Making Spam Fried Rice
If you can’t find a fancy rib roast or chicken at your local plague-ravaged market, grab a can of Spam and make some tasty Spam fried rice.
I Am Worried About Ina Garten
If Ina Garten’s Instagram is any inclination of how she is coping with coronavirus quarantine, someone in the Hamptons needs to check on her ASAP.
Dear Food Bloggers: Stop Yammering And Give Me The Dang Recipe
I don’t need to read your chatty recollection about a potluck where nothing happened except someone complimented your fruit salad.
This Is The Perfect Time To Get Outside And Go Fishing
Toilet paper memes are great, and the fish might not bite, but a bad day on the lake is always better than a good day online.
8 Cocktails To Toast Your Patron Saint On St. Patrick’s Day, No Matter Your Politics
It is time to start stocking the liquor cabinet with bottles of liquid courage for the upcoming presidential election. Why not kill two birds with one stone by toasting to your favorite cause and imploring heaven’s aid?
Vodka Ain’t Sanitizer, But These Classic Vodka Cocktails Will Keep You Healthy Through Delicious, Delicious Quarantine
Do not despair if you’re one of the good folks who bought a case of vodka to sanitize yourself from coronavirus, though maybe don’t admit to your friends that’s why you bought it.
Seven Valentine’s Day Cocktails To Help You Celebrate Love
Whether you want to class up your romantic evening with a special cocktail, or anguish like an emo James Comey, we have the perfect drink for you.
The Murder Of My Beloved IPA And The Rise Of The Great Pretender
There was a golden age once — lasted maybe two decades — where you could walk into a bar in any good-sized city, order the local IPA, and be satisfied. Those days are gone.
A Right, Proper, And Manly Guide To The Cocktails Of Christmas
it is right, proper and manly to raise our glass in the traditions of the merry gentlemen who’ve raised theirs before us, God rest ’em.
Stop Pardoning The Thanksgiving Turkeys, President Trump, And Cook Them Instead
It’s too late for Bread and Butter to serve a higher purpose, but that doesn’t mean Thanksgiving 2020 can’t be a time in which we start new traditions.
33-Plus Last-Minute Additions To Your Thanksgiving Menu
Even if you completely adore your normal Thanksgiving menu, take a moment to give these newcomers a chance. You might find a keeper.
Don’t Try Those Reinvented Mashed Potatoes For Thanksgiving. Use This No-Fail Classic
If you can’t make a pretty convincing scale replica of Devil’s Tower in Wyoming out of your Thanksgiving mashed potatoes, you are using the wrong recipe.
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