Hans Fiene
Hans Fiene
Hans Fiene
Hans Fiene is a Senior Contributor to The Federalist. He is a Lutheran pastor in Illinois and the creator of Lutheran Satire, a series of comical videos intended to teach the Lutheran faith. Follow him on Twitter, @HansFiene .
Drew Brees Shouldn’t Have Ditched His Christian Brothers Over The Lies Of A Twitter Mob

Don’t throw your fellow believers under the bus to escape persecution. Like Drew Brees, all you’ll succeed in doing is hastening your demise.

Colts Fans Booing Andrew Luck Was Reprehensible, Yet Understandable

In response to news of Andrew Luck’s retirement, a number of fans began raining down boos upon their beloved quarterback as he trotted off the field for the last time.

Why Christian Women Don’t Need To Be Pastors To Be Equal With Men

Christianity offers countless joys to the lost and fallen sinners of this world. But if you’re looking for the joy that comes from receiving equal access to every aspect of the church’s ministry, you’re going to be disappointed.

Pete Buttigieg Is Right That Christians Need To Be Rebuked

But someone who lives in sexual immorality and supports abortion right up until birth is quite obviously the wrong person to do it.

Mom Reveals How Her Lefty Political Tribe Breeds Affection For The Alt-Right

Tell kids they’re white supremacists for questioning leftism and they’ll become desensitized—so desensitized that they’ll listen to the Nazi sales pitch.

10 Tips For First-Time Fathers In Their Thirties

I am uniquely qualified to teach men my age how to alter the tricks a twenty-something dad has in his arsenal to fit a body and mind that are approaching middle age.

Christians Need To Stop Assuming LGBT Sin Matters More Than God’s Mercy

To believe that Christ is your savior, you have to believe he has saved you from something, which sinners will never understand if Mama Church keeps telling Papa God to have a Snickers every time he’s acting a little too Old-Testamenty.

Why Infanticide Isn’t A Bridge Too Far For Many Abortion Supporters

As Democrat governors embrace infanticide, it appears Democrats are once again poised to follow the extremists in their party. Why aren’t they simply reversing course?

Gillette’s Toxic Masculinity Ad Accidentally Makes A Case For The Patriarchy

Gillette isn’t against the patriarchy, they’re against the bad patriarchy. What we need, more than ever, is men willing to fight for good patriarchy.

Woke Progressives Turn Their Public Shaming Ritual Into A Formal Religious Ceremony

In these latter days, the greatest way to atone for the sins of uninclusivity is found inside a church known as the Cathedral of Blessed Wokery, currently meeting in a 55,000-square-foot Malibu mansion.

Church Of England’s Transgender Baptisms Blaze Trail For 3 More Blasphemous Rites

It’s time to stop marginalizing the Christians in polyamorous lifestyles, for example. We must institute ‘Holy Throupling’ to fully sanctify their love.

10 Beloved Christmas Movie Characters Who Are Actually Terrible People

‘Frosty the Snowman’ is the story of a self-absorbed nitwit who kidnaps an impressionable young girl and brings her to the deadliest terrain on earth.

Twitter’s New Trans Speech Rules Emanate From Religious Extremism

With a recent tweak to their terms of service, Twitter has made it quite clear it’s in the business of exiling anyone who deviates from the new political-religious orthodoxy.

Pro Wrestling Explains Why Trump Wins Every Battle With The Media

While it may be indisputable that the media can’t win a cage match against the president, it’s certainly worth exploring why.

Here’s The Only Completely Correct Ranking Of Halloween Candy

Coming in at 19 is 3 Musketeers. If these stopped existing tomorrow, it would take you 30 years to notice. It’s the Delaware of candy bars.

Why The Philadelphia Flyers’ Hideous New Mascot Perfectly Embodies Sports Fans

No, Gritty is not toxic masculinity incarnate. He is sports fandom incarnate. And that’s what makes him the perfect mascot.

We Should Remember 9/11 Through The Lens Of Good Friday

We are all capable of indescribable evil. And yet God chose to love us.

Here’s Your Updated Guide To Superhero And Supervillains’ Religious Affiliations

Batman’s newfound lack of faith raises an interesting question: what do the rest of the folks in comic book land believe?

For A Successful Legacy, President Trump Needs To Move Past His Rocky Balboa Persona

President Trump is constantly wasting energy trying to reclaim a persona he’s not in danger of losing. I call this Return-To-Rocky disorder.

If You Don’t Know Enough About Politics, Don’t Tweet Or Vote

God hasn’t called you to insult strangers who are a thousand miles away. He’s called you to love the neighbors who are right in front of you.