Saving Lives By Doing Absolutely Nothing Is My Best Achievement Yet
COVID-19 will never be over. We’re in for the longest, hardest, saddest winter since Joseph Stalin and Walter Duranty danced a jig together in Moscow.
Dear Governor Cuomo: Chicken Wings Are Indeed A Meal
Obviously the governor has never seen this video or ever eaten a plate of wings. If he had, he would know the truth about crowd-pleasing chicken wings.
Your Complete Guide To Canceling Every Team In Major League Baseball
Why stop at the Cleveland Indians or Texas Rangers? When you think about it, every single team name in Major League Baseball is irredeemably offensive.
How A Conservative Commentator’s Photo Helped This Couple Fall In Love
In a humorous and heartwarming story of ‘catfishing’ actually working, Guy Benson’s likeness catalyzed the romance between a couple who will be married next weekend.
The Greatest Living American Writer Resigns, Decries Slack Channel Cowards
This resignation letter is different from the letters I’ve written in the past. It’s about ideas.
Kurt Schlichter’s Episodic Devotional Will Make Righties Laugh And Cheer
The notorious columnist’s latest book, ‘The 21 Biggest Lies About Donald Trump (and You!),’ is funny, completely over-the-top, and a more appropriate response to the calumny directed at conservatives than allegedly decorous political observers want to admit.
6 More Reasons To Cancel ‘Looney Tunes’ Besides Elmer Fudd’s Gun
HBO Max has already demonstrated the bravery of capitulation by temporarily pulling ‘Gone with the Wind.’ Now it’s time for them to permanently pull the plug on ‘Looney Tunes.’
I’m The Rapid Response Social Worker Who Replaced The Police
It’s not an easy job. In fact, it’s impossible, but it’s for social justice!
How Coronavirus Would Transform These Famous American Sayings
‘We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their government with certain Rights that may only be rescinded if exercising those Rights carries any risk.’
What Our Post-COVID World Must Look Like
We must build a society based on what I call ‘rational kindness combined with government-mandated contact tracing.’
Here’s 10 Things You Didn’t Know About Phyllis Schlafly
My mother Phyllis Schlafly made quite a name for herself in the fight over the Equal Rights Amendment, but here are a few little-known facts about her.
My Brilliant Nine-Phase Retractable Plan For Reopening The Nation
Restaurants will reopen, but only for one customer at a time. Shopkeepers must shoot pre-purchased goods out of a T-shirt cannon, and we can only catch them if we’re wearing gloves.
In Autobiography, Woody Allen’s Shrillness And Misogyny Cancel Out The Humor
Woody Allen tries and fails to present himself as worlds away from his screen persona of a hopelessly neurotic, oversexed failure with women and an all-around coward.
‘What We Do in the Shadows’ Is Sitcom Gold
If you find yourself constantly revisiting Dunder Mifflin’s Scranton outpost, I think you’ll find ‘What We Do in the Shadows’ to be well worth your time.
The World’s Greatest Living Pandemic Expert Takes The Podium
Did anyone listen to me? No. But they’re listening to me now. And I’ve suddenly become quite expensive.
Mike Leach Is The Latest Victim Of PC Insanity
Mississippi State football coach Mike Leach is being dragged over the coals for tweeting an innocent joke about the frustrations of quarantine.
Catholic Bishops Forbid Making Sign Of The Cross: ‘You Could Poke Your Eye Out And Go Blind’
The latest announcement was the most recent of a series of changes beginning with the indefinite suspension of all public Masses and the abolition of meatless Fridays in Lent.
69 Things Virginians Can Do For Their 69 Days Of Lockdown
These lockdown activities won’t keep Virginians sane, but they will make their impending descent into madness more entertaining.
5 Bailout Negotiators More Trustworthy Than Steve Mnuchin
The Treasury secretary isn’t proving up to the job of actually helping America, and it’s time to replace him with proven winners.
How The Greatest Living American Writer Endures His Quarantine
I’m proud to be part of a long tradition of productive plague authors. As I gaze upon the valley below from the parapets of Mount Winchester, I am alone with my prose. And my health.
If You Don’t Know That ‘Coyotes’ Are Human Smugglers, Shut Up About The BorderThe government hasn’t “lost track” of migrant chicontinue reading >- Music Publicist Says She Was Fired By Email For Attending Trump Rally'We infer that you support the policies and ideologies continue reading >
- ‘Don’t Mention Joe Being Involved’: Bombshell Texts Show Effort To Hide Joe Biden’s Involvement In Hunter’s Business DealsBiden claims he knew nothing about any of Hunter Biden'continue reading >
