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This Week In Weird Twitter, Volume 9

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The big news this week was the release of Harper Lee’s “Go Set A Watchman.” In the book, we learn many problematic things. Mainly, though, it’s that after helping Tom Robinson, Atticus Finch escaped from his grandmother’s attic, bought an orange Dodge Charger, and started running moonshine. It was really the only choice that Atticus boy had. If he was good at one thing, it was getting over on law enforcement.


Speaking of running moonshine.


That’s why I prefer this option.


Just be careful about the decisions you make while being a booze mule.


And.


Fake it ‘til you make it.


Skills.


USA! USA!


Oppressive heteronormativity. What does the baby consider itself?


Wait, that’s not a simile.


She’s not wrong.


The dog who cried wolf.


Speaking of wolves.


She should sue.


How to nail a job interview, part one.


Part two.


How to flirt.


Alternately.


Or listen to what the girls say.


Rise of the robots.


Bone chilling, although their love of turkey legs is somewhat telling.


My strategy, as well.


From this point forward, we’re to have some moments of ribaldry. Enjoy!


Them’s the rules.


It can also be mom’s fault.


Now I have nothing to look forward to when I’m old.


History is cyclical.


Success!


His problem was he chose the wrong geological structure.


It’s all in the landing.


Our middle daughter, Scout, does this, but without packing, so we know she’s not serious.


Not with a bang or a whisper.


The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again.


That is weird.


Check.


Kids don’t appreciate good humor.


See?


Daniel-san.


Thanks for tuning in for a booze-soaked edition of This Week In Weird Twitter. Remember, moonshining and clowning on cops is only cool if you have good thoughts while doing it. Also, make sure to stick to what you know, but also remember that alcohol will be there for you in the morning no matter what problems it causes the night before.