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This Week In Weird Twitter, Volume 1

Twitter’s wild and wacky world of dad jokes, non sequiturs, and [clenches fist] all that frickin’ rye.

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If you’ve spent any time around Twitter, you’ve likely encountered Weird Twitter, a bizarre subculture of stay-at-home moms, dads, comedians, and at least one American Idol finalist. The name derives from the fact that it’s, well, a weird place. Often irreverent, generally apolitical (though you will see occasional intrusions from both sides), it’s possibly the best part of Twitter apart from keeping up with breaking news.

It’s also a difficult place to keep up with. More likely you’ve seen it in snippets, in the form of a random retweet from someone you follow. Not everyone wants to dive into the weirdness that is Weird Twitter; to follow an ever-growing list of people who thrive on retweeting one another. Never fear, I am not afraid, and I’m here to provide you with the best of Weird Twitter (at least the best of what I can keep up with).

First, though, an introduction for those who haven’t sampled this delightfully oddball world. It can be subtly hilarious.

It can be overtly hilarious.

And it can be plagiarized to infinity and beyond.

And now to some of my favorites for the week, including some that were retweeted into my timeline. Weird Twitter will dive deep into someone’s history and bring up a gem from 2013. Since this is the first installment, I’m including some of those gems. I’ve tried to keep it clean—with a notable exception at the bottom—but I haven’t avoided offering the risqué. It’s all safe for work, other than the last one. That doesn’t mean it won’t make you blush. And with that, we’re off.

@XplodingUnicorn is hilarious and very relevant if you have young kids.

English Degree? @TheMichaelRock has words for that.

Marriage counseling, @PaperWash style.

@torrami’s preferred way to exit this mortal coil is legit.

In this corner, @Bownuggets.

@commuter_haiku on punctuality.


@kaytaa is actually pretty active in conservative circles. She’s also got good advice.

@etherbrian is another on the conservative side. Maybe not necessarily a member of Weird Twitter, but he asks weirdly brilliant questions.

@jonnysun on publishing.

@JermHimselfish has Buzzfeed’s number.

@Jake_Vig or is Sonny Bunch sock-puppeting?

@murrman on extreme helicopter parenting.

@NoTheOtherJohn argues against hippies.

I agree with @thenatewolf on Baby Boomers.

@daemonic3 comes through with a dad joke.

If you have kids, you can relate to @Marlebean here.

The “American Idol” contestant? It’s @JustinGuarini, ladies and gentleman.

Lastly, the one with the strong language. @Sickayduh on construction permits.

Okay, one more dad joke. @dubstep4dads on wildlife.

That’s it for this week, kids. Hope you enjoyed the weirdness. I’ll continue curating these, but suggestions are welcome. And remember, twitter isn’t for arguing with strangers about politics, unless it’s your position on lycanthropes.