It’s that time of year again — cuffing season! If you’re tired of getting placed at the kids’ table during family holiday gatherings, here’s a list of surefire ways to bag a man in time for Christmas, as inspired by Hallmark Channel’s “Countdown to Christmas” movie lineup.
1. Get Snowed In Together
Use the bad weather to your advantage. If there’s a cold snap set to roll in, use a busy rental property manager’s booking mixup to spend the holiday snowed in with a hot, single dad.
This is especially beneficial if you happen to write for a travel magazine and get assigned an article to write about an old-fashioned Christmas, like in “Christmas Getaway.” Get yourself a man and a magazine cover story in one weekend!
2. Embrace Strange Inheritance Requirements
If there’s one thing you can bet on in made-for-TV-movies, it’s that rich people are eccentric AF and they will make their heirs jump through bizarre and romantically involved hoops to secure their fortunes. If you’re a big-shot corporate lawyer forced to spend 30 days in your small hometown before inheriting the family home, use the time to reconnect with a hometown hottie, like in “Christmas Everlasting.”
Let’s say your family has a massive fortune you’re set to inherit, but you can’t access it until you’re married. The obvious solution is to host a masquerade Christmas ball to find that special someone and unlock your family’s vast wealth.
3. Recognize Your Sexual Chemistry With Your Longtime Rival
Maybe the real reason why you can’t stand that one guy in your professional sphere is because you actually have the hots for him! Be sure to fall into a situation where you have to spend a lot of time in the same space together to figure that one out.
4. Charm The Stiff Corporate Guy Into Not Being a Grinch
That super-corporate guy who rolls into your hometown with the intention of replacing your coworkers with robots is actually a softie deep inside. You just have to touch his heart with Christmas cheer to get him to open up and realize that the best things in life are things money can’t buy.
5. Get a Work Transfer And Fall In Love With A Hot Co-Worker
This scheme will especially work out for you if you’re Leanne Rimes and if your love interest is a very talented songwriter and music teacher at the school you just got transferred to.
6. Make the King Fall In Love With You
Step one, become a professional ice skater. Step two, get hired as an ice skating coach for the royal family’s Christmas party. Step three, spend lots of time helping the young princess perfect her skating routine and make sure the king sees how good you are with kids. Step four, make him fall in love with you. Bada bing, bada boom!
7. Reunite With Your Old Music Partner
Take a work trip down to Nashville. While visiting Graceland, bump into your old music partner. Don’t resist the urge to recreate music together. Forget about work and rekindle the magic the two of you once had together.
8. Create a Dating App
Create an app that pairs you with other busy professionals who don’t have time to find a date in the wild for holiday family gatherings, like Molly in “Mingle All The Way.” Get matched with a guy you can’t stand. Discover you actually have crazy sexual energy for each other and fall in love.