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My Official, Unequivocal Denunciation Of Every Bad Person Or Thing That Has Ever Existed

Palpatine fighting Yoda in Star Wars
Image CreditStar Wars HDR/YouTube

Since his praise of former dictator of Nazi Germany Adolf Hitler on Thursday, Kanye West (a.k.a. Ye) has become a subject of controversy in the sphere of public debate.

Thanks to our objective and unbiased legacy media, Republicans — even those who never associated with or spoke of the rapper — are finally being held accountable for their obvious tolerance of such rhetoric. Putting aside the fact that Democrat members of “The Squad” routinely embrace antisemitism, it’s nice to see conservatives put under scrutiny for once.

But simply believing that Ye’s comments are grotesque isn’t good enough to be considered a tolerant member of society. In order to demonstrate true commitment to becoming social justice warriors, we — and by “we,” I especially mean conservative Republicans — must actively go out of our way to condemn every single bad person and event throughout all of history.

After all, it’s just as our totally beloved and not-at-all cognitively challenged president said Friday morning: Silence is complicity.

While some may think that such a task seems a bit over the top, it would behoove them to know that doing so is super easy and helps create a more equitable world for everyone. Just take, for example, Federalist CEO Sean Davis, who took time out of his Thursday evening to tweet his condemnation of “all the bad things and people over all time and space, especially that one thing everyone is super mad about.”

Awesome, right? And what’s even better is that you can copy Davis’s model and take it a step further. Instead of offering broad condemnation of all things evil, you can denounce bad people and events more specifically. Here’s an example:

I, Shawn Fleetwood, hereby condemn the many terrible and awful people, things, and events that have caused physical and emotional harm throughout world history. Among these include: the meteor that took out the dinosaurs, people who question the Native American heritage of Massachusetts Sen. Elizabeth Warren, the distracting audience at the July 2020 Washington Nationals game who made Dr. Anthony Fauci botch his opening pitch, and Emperor Palpatine.

Conversely, I stand by and support all things good, such as blocking traffic with climate change protests, dressing pets in costumes for Halloween, and banning the big meanie, Donald Trump, from Twitter.

See how easy it is? Now, you too can create your own list of things to condemn and support and share it will all the family and friends you haven’t blocked on social media.

At the end of the day, we all need to prove that we’re not a part of the problem. Actively proclaiming every single thing that we do and don’t support is not only healthy for individuals in demonstrating their virtue, but for society in helping eradicate the evils within it.

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