Everything You Never Needed To Know About Miley Cyrus’s Breakup With Liam Hemsworth For Brody Jenner’s Ex

Everything You Never Needed To Know About Miley Cyrus’s Breakup With Liam Hemsworth For Brody Jenner’s Ex

First, the good news. Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth will “remain dedicated parents” to their pets while separated. Now for the weird news. Cyrus is in Italy, putting on a show for the paparazzi with Kaitlynn Carter. According to TMZ, the pair is “seeing each other.” As of the month’s beginning, both women were married to men. Famous men. Handsome men.

So how did we get here? Carter is best known (only known) for snagging what every woman in 2008 wanted five years after they wanted it: a date with Brody Jenner. The couple was married last summer. That marriage ended three days before their television show. MTV renewed “The Hills: New Beginnings” just days earlier, meaning their split comes amid the renaissance of their reality TV careers, a totally tragic and coincidental twist of fate. (Albeit one that gives “New Beginnings” new meaning.)

Cyrus and Hemsworth announced their separation over the weekend, seven months after marrying in December, and ten years after meeting on the set of “The Last Song,” a movie that was not nominated for any Oscars, but did win three Teen Choice Awards and several months of Greg Kinnear’s time. We were all surprised, even though a source kindly informed People it “isn’t shocking to people who are actually with them every day.”

By the time news of their split broke on Saturday, Cyrus was already kissing Carter in Italy, paparazzi and all. (“Party mood,” according to a source.) By Monday, she was #back #in #the #studio. Liam, meanwhile, was eating frozen yogurt and saying sad stuff, including “you don’t understand what it’s like” to a Daily Mail reporter.

Brody has declared it “Hot Boy Summer,” fought with Cyrus in the Instagram comment section, and DJ’d in Vegas. Spencer Pratt issued a characteristically calm and even-tempered response to the whole breakup, promising to “light these fools up on season 2.” Page Six claims Cyrus and Carter have been hooking up for “a couple of months” and that Jenner is “totally okay with it.”

As usual, the president is involved. Having counseled Cyrus to not to “worry about Liam” in a 2013 tweet, Trump’s take seems to have aged well. “You can do much better and you have plenty of time—remain strong!” he implored the pop star. While I actually think it’s Liam who could do better, Cyrus probably should have just taken his advice.

Emily Jashinsky is culture editor at The Federalist. You can follow her on Twitter @emilyjashinsky .
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