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10 Things Nancy Pelosi Must Think Cost $1,000

Nancy Pelosi

In honor of Nancy Pelosi and Debbie Wasserman Schultz’s views that $1,000 is a ‘crumb,’ here’s Lucille Bluth on what costs lots and lots of money.


Companies are giving workers bonuses and wage increases after Congress passed corporate tax reform, and House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi (D., Calif.) has some strong opinions about these mere morsels.

“There’s a cartoon that I just love. There’s a little mouse trap who’s got a little piece of cheese on there, and there’s a mouse about to take it and that’s called the middle class,” said Pelosi at a “Trump Tax” town hall meeting held at Florida Atlantic University. “And around it are fat cats, they look a lot like elephants but anyway, around there. And that’s the thing. Get this little thing and we get this big bonanza. You get the crumb, we get the banquet,” she continued.

Rep. Deborah Wasserman Schultz (D., Fla.) added, “Frankly, if you look at the bonuses, which I haven’t heard of a corporate bonus more than $1,000 so far. Which by the way is taxed, so it’s not $1,000. And then you spread $1,000 over the course of the year – to think of about how much that is – of course they get it all at once. But I’m not sure that $1,000 (which is taxed, taxable) goes very for almost anyone.”

In honor of Pelosi and Wasserman Schultz’s view that $1,000 is a crumb, here’s Lucille Bluth telling us ten things that probably also cost lots and lots of money.

I mean, a banana is at least ten dollars, right?

Since we’re talking crumbs, that means toast, and toast is expensive. I’m thinking that’s going to be an even fifty.

Who knows exactly how much a ticket to a Star War is, anyway? Better throw most a grand at that, especially if you want snacks. Snacks are expensive.

How much do coats cost, anyway?

Less than half of a substandard cold cream. One you’d buy when you’re really pinching pennies. $2,095 is a bargain.

One of those fidgety spin things all the kids have—what do they do? Has to be expensive since it’s popular.

Bluetooth. Nothing so useful could be included with a smartphone. Impossible.

An Uber. It’s like a poor person limo, right? Definitely somewhere around $1,000.

Prescription medications. I hear that Republicans hate sick people, so those are really expensive. How to put a price tag on hate? $500.

Being told that $1,000 is so inconsequential that you might as well not even get it. I know, right?