PYONGYANG — No score and fifteen months ago, our Great Leader Donald J. Trump brought forth upon this continent a new Presidential campaign, dedicated to the high-minded yet plainspoken virtues of Great Leader Donald J. Trump, and conceived in the Make America Great Again Idea of our Marshal. It was altogether fitting and proper that he should do so.
Now Great Leader Donald J. Trump is preparing to reveal the lies and slanders and perjuries of Crooked Hillary, in a colossal debate to be held on Long Island, the scene of so many past victories for the Mighty Man of Wharton. It is here that Great Leader Donald J. Trump shall finally bring down his heel upon the poisonous she-adder Hillary Clinton, crushing her wickedness and perversions for all times to come, and America shall bear witness to the howls of Crooked Hillary’s handmaidens in the so-called mainstream media.
“For too long has Crooked Hillary, that trebly accursed braying she-ass from Arkansas, held her grip upon the American people,” said Donald J. Trump campaign CEO Stephen Bannon, who sits at the right hand of Great Leader Donald J. Trump and has ably assisted in all of the Marshal’s conquests, in a statement to Breitbart News, the official state news agency of the Donald J. Trump campaign.
“Now Crooked Hillary shall surely meet her doom upon the plains of Long Island, as the mailed fist of Great Leader Donald J. Trump is brought forth to lay her low for her wicked infamies and vile treasons against the American people and our Leader, from her lying testimonies concerning the fate of her electronic mails to her slanders against President Vladimir Putin of Russia, the benevolent friend of all Americans and of Great Leader Donald J. Trump,” exclaimed Mister Bannon at a taping of “Fox and Friends.”
As Lyin’ Ted Cruz, the Braggart of Texas and son of the assassin of President John F. Kennedy discovered to his regret, the arm of Great Leader Donald J. Trump is long and his eyes are all-seeing. Now Lyin’ Ted Cruz, who recently prostrated himself upon his serpent belly in the dust before the People’s Champion, has released a statement endorsing the Genius of Upper Queens:
“I, Lyin’ Ted Cruz, the son of an infamous assassin and husband of the world’s ugliest wife, do hereby crave pardon for my past transgressions against Great Leader Donald J. Trump. From Donald J. Trump, I, Lyin’ Ted Cruz, do accept my seat in the United States Senate and to him do I offer my worthless allegiance, as I humiliate myself before all of the American people as penance for my abominable and unnameable crimes and villainies. I beg the forgiveness of the people and of my Marshal, Donald J. Trump, and I do endorse Donald J. Trump, the conqueror of the Republican Party convention whose nomination was a historic watershed for all good citizens, as eternal President of the United States of America.”
So said the impotent traitor Ted Cruz!
The victory of Great Leader Donald J. Trump, the all-powerful warrior who because of his endurance and inflexible will to win will go from conquest to conquest leaving fire in his wake, over Crooked Hillary Clinton is all but assured. Against the People’s Tribune stand only the forces of darkness and depravity, chiefly the mainstream media and the so-called “Never Trump Gang” of the base and treacherous jackals William Kristol and Rick Wilson.
These morons who have never won an election in their lives are now backing the infamous C.I.A. spy Evan McMullin, who shall one day hang from the executioner’s gibbet as a feast for the crows in repayment for his crimes against our Marshal. It is known to all that a vote for McMullin or for Gary Johnson, the dopey ex-governor of the failed state of New Mexico, is a vote for Crooked Hillary. May all such traitors enjoy the richly deserved dog’s deaths which shall inevitably be their fate for their crimes against our Leader, our People, and our Party.
Great Leader Donald J. Trump has a plan for America, and for the utter destruction of ISIS, which is shortly to be revealed, at a time deemed appropriate by the Marshal. The wisdom of Donald J. Trump shall lead America’s armies from one conquest to another over enemies such as ISIS, and China, and Mexico, and Estonia. None can doubt that the judges appointed by Donald J. Trump shall be of such excellence and Solomonic wisdom as to be worth ten of the great Antonin Scalia. They shall order our laws and write our legislations. Whereas the judges who would be chosen by Crooked Hillary should make all good Americans quail in fear, for as all know she would defile our Supreme Court with a pack of adulterers, abortionists, and Rootless Cosmopolitans.
The slanderers and poisoners of America shall be punished by the righteous whips of the united American people, under the revolutionary banner of Donald J. Trump, the Father of the Country. The dirty ambitions of Crooked Hillary Clinton shall be exposed under the searing light of the Marshal’s truth. Her cunning schemes shall be repaid and she shall be stripped of all titles and honorifics, and her name erased from the scrolls of history. All shall love Great Leader Donald J. Trump and despair.
Make America great again! Vote for Great Leader and Eternal President Donald J. Trump!