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This Week In Weird Twitter, Volume 65

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One of the more annoying pastimes we engage in is our children. Not the paying attention to them and teaching them part, but the one that suggests they are fonts of wisdom.

It’s true that they inadvertently drop some truth bombs from time to time, but mostly they’re insatiable demons who, given their druthers, would start World War III multiple times per day. Sure the crust situation on the latest sandwich is super important, as is the fact that a sibling didn’t respond well to having a favorite toy snatched away, but maybe not so important so as to go Defcon 3.
Otherwise, they’re wonderful, selfless balls of wonderful selflessness and never at all disturbing.

Not that we don’t give them ideas.

Or sometimes set the bar a little high.

Though sometimes those dreams are perfect and setting the bar just high enough.

We also have to make the hard choices that prepare them for the future.

Life is hard. To the victor go the spoils.

There are also external forces putting pressure on them.

If you do it right, they’ll pick up skills they can use for the rest of their lives.

And other skills that will leave them stuck rudderless.

If the grandparents are Baby Boomers, you’ll take the free weekend, but know you’ll have to disabuse some notions. Often, this will require some harsh truth.

Danger Zone. Wait, that’s the other one.

Yeah, this one. Now we’re in the danger zone.

You also can’t shield them from the truth. You have to expose them to the reality of the world as they will face it. Partly sunny, my ass.

Ancestry isn’t determinative, but it is instructive.

That being said, the family business may not be their particular future, even if they are the future.

Don’t be an anti-vaxxer, particularly an extreme one. Nothing good will come of it.

Also, be careful with the participation trophies, okay?

Be careful even if the trophies are warranted. They’ll need some other skills to succeed long-term.

On the flip side, if they don’t have any trophy-worthy skills, they may get creative in less-than-desirable ways.

While measurable achievements like athletics and STEM are admirable, don’t forget the arts.

Back to the Olympics, be prepared for a changing future.

Though we kid about the older generations, the skills they pass on are critically important.

Responding to social cues in an appropriate manner is also important.

As are ethics and effective subterfuge.

And keeping promises.

Don’t forget to teach them practical skills that will benefit them during the lean years when they’re making their own way in the world.

Also, you’re the source of their self-esteem. While you don’t want it to be out of control, you do want to imbue confidence.

Keep in mind that you’ll have to keep your own patience in the interim. They are verbose little buggers.

They have their strengths, but they also have their quiet moments.

But no matter what you do, you can’t control the future, even if they are the future.

Another no matter what you do, you don’t say this. No matter how long the pointless story winds on.

You’ll meet some great people via your kids’ friends and classmates. You’ll also meet this one.

For a vision of the future, teach your children about the worst department at whatever job they ultimately inhabit.

Dreams do come true, but maybe don’t be too vague when helping shape those dreams.

But reality demands heroes.

Heroes like this one.

You may have daughters, but that doesn’t mean they can’t learn some hardcore Bear Grylls-type outdoor skills. Don’t limit them.

For example.

On the other hand, different strokes for different folks. (Also, this guy is going to end up a supervillain.)

Lastly, almost, it’s a dog eat dog world out there. The competition is savage and being a ruthless utilitarian, while often unglamorous, has its benefits.

When Dr. Frankenstein stepped back from his creation, he saw what he’d done. Yes, he’d created life, but despite his best intentions, he could not control it. Life finds a way, as another doctor once explained. And that way often leaves a raft of destruction in its wake. No worries, though, there is an explanation, albeit not necessarily a good one.