This Week In Weird Twitter, Volume 7

This Week In Weird Twitter, Volume 7

Celebrate your love for your country by blowing up a small piece of it, and yourself, in a dazzling array of color.
Rich Cromwell
By

As Independence Day and its concomitant colorful explosions are upon us, it’s time to reflect upon the history of our nation and ask the important questions. For example, why are there so many songs about rainbows and what’s on the other side? Rainbows are visions, but only illusions, and rainbows have nothing to hide. So we’ve been told, and some choose to believe it. I know they’re wrong—wait and see.


Speaking of symbols.


Fancy Bill probably calls his car the General Lee.


Never let Lincicome design your uniforms.


Endorsed.


Becomes Master Tedi.


My style of parenting.


I’m not poolside at the moment, but there is beer and the assumption that my kids are okay. As a matter of fact, there goes one. I hope she’s going somewhere good.


Willy Loman in 2015.


Samesies.


This sensei is probably also good at falling into the pool.


Maybe a roundhouse kick for good measure.


Be aggressive, b-e aggressive.


I believe the children are the future.


Vegans never miss an opportunity to tell you they’re vegan.


Truth.


She’s not wrong.


The origin of the species.


False flag!


Yasssss!


Dubstep: Origins.


Could be worse. Could be Skrillex.


This is discrimination, plain and simple.


Caveat emptor.


Don’t try this.


There’s absolutely nothing good about glitter.


Cats.


Dogs.


It’s funny now, but wait.


NDT?


What’s that?


Shopping with Wreckx-n-effect.


They destroy anything.


I hate that little jerk and his incompletely animated universe so much.


He was truly a gifted artist. He never expected things to turn out like this.


Have a safe and happy Independence Day, kids. Remember, if you avoid drunkenness and injury, you’re doing it wrong. Celebrate your love of your country by blowing up a small piece of it, and yourself. Until we meet again, so long as I can still trust you on July 5.

Richard Cromwell is a senior contributor to The Federalist. Follow him on Twitter, @rcromwell4.

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