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‘The Bachelorette’ Fight Exemplifies Toxic ‘Self-Love’ Culture

This scene in ‘The Bachelorette’ speaks to a larger issue, that people consider themselves religious, yet they don’t actually want to follow their religion. 


This season on ABC’s “The Bachelorette,” Hannah B. decided to take four men to Greece for fantasy suites, instead of the usual three. During her fourth and final date, the reviled Luke P. brought up — to put it simple — sex. While I’ve spent the majority of this season wishing Luke would get kicked off the show, I thought he brought up a good point.

I think Luke was trying to say he was turned off by someone who touts her faith as the largest factor in her life, then turns around and sleeps with four men over the course of their short time in Greece.

Both Hannah and Luke are neither virgins nor sexually chaste, but when Luke found faith he made a pact to refrain from sex henceforth until marriage. Hannah touts her faith as being a large part of her life, so I don’t think that Luke asking about Hannah’s decision to sleep with men outside of marriage is all that absurd of a question.

After all, she has made it very clear that she slept with Peter in a windmill. Twice.

During their conversation, Luke insinuated that Hannah owed it to him to refrain from sex until marriage. This is where I agree with Hannah. She doesn’t owe Luke anything. She owes sexual continence until marriage to God.

This scene in “The Bachelorette” speaks to a larger issue — that many people consider themselves religious, yet don’t actually want to follow their religion. There is a very distinct line between being religious and practicing your religion in everyday life. What Hannah exemplified in this episode is that while she may consider herself a Christian, she is more interested in doing what she wants rather than respecting what God has made clear is best for us through his word, the Bible.

In Christianity, sex outside of marriage is a sin. End of story. You can make that choice to disobey God, and Hannah is right when she said, “Jesus still loves me.” He does. Yet Christ’s forgiveness of all sin does not negate its evil consequences, nor his commands given for humans’ good.

Typically today, people justify their disobedience to God in myriad ways by focusing on the “self-love” culture that puts their feelings on Earth at a higher priority than their obedience to God and path to eternal life. This culture of “self-love” and “self-help,” while it may feel great at the time, slides past what will always help people find true, lasting love and happiness — God.

God is a forgiving being who loves us all, and we are wholly forgiven when we repent of our sins. That means acknowledging that what we have done is wrong and determining, with God’s help, to not do it again. During this episode, Hannah refuses to repent of her sins. In fact, she sticks up for her sins, which is merely a symptom of the larger “self-love” culture that prioritizes personal comfort over doing what is right.