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This Week In Weird Twitter, Volume 22


Recently, I saw a swarm of geese doing the most peculiar thing. They were swirling and diving and generally flying in a very erratic pattern. I thought maybe they had finally accepted how awful they are and were listing around the sky in despair.

Alas, turns out it wasn’t geese, but pelicans. Pelicans apparently ride swirling currents that are slowly drifting south rather than just fly. I strongly suggest you look up some video of it. Now that I know it wasn’t geese, I realize it was actually pretty cool.

Please be a goose, please be a goose, please be a goose.

Well, this is ridiculous.

That is a good question.

Damn cats.

They’re so cute in their natural habitat.

Play the odds.

Speaking of odds, Sanders is still in this, huh?

Hillary wants this to be true of herself, but it’s more descriptive of Bill.

What about the entire Democratic field?

Bernie says that’s too many and she needs to share.

Harry agrees.

Didn’t stop me from applying for the board for my kids’ school. Haven’t heard back, though.

RB2 is his favorite.

As long as there are no spells.

I like this idea, though it may require some stitches and the ER is expensive.

They communicate so well at that age.

When I said there were no stupid questions, I was lying.

You shouldn’t lie on your résumé.

I can relate to having such discussions.

And that’s how Doc Brown’s daughter got her start in time travel.

Although it risks hastening this.

If only it were this hard to get a government grant.

We do need an answer to this question, though.

Should’ve sued McDonald’s.

She should sue somebody, too.

It is the simplest explanation.

She’s not on Facebook.

*drops mic*

Surely thou doth jest.

But tomorrow is so far away.

Though I said don’t lie on your résumé, don’t be too honest at the interview.

Shut your mouth.

It used to take months to get rid of leaves.

Which one has the most bourbon?

It wasn’t cromulent at all.




I don’t know how she wrote this tweet.

Just like that stupid restaurant.

If you see the swirly birds, they’re not necessarily pelicans. They could also be something else, but they’re definitely not geese. If geese went into a swirly pattern, they’d probably fly backwards given their occult knowledge.