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This Week In Weird Twitter, Volume 3


I promise this is a compilation. Maybe I’ve been busy this week and this “Best Of” includes tweets from whenever. Regardless, it’s definitely not a bunch of lizards pretending to be a list. Just because both start with “l” is no reason to assume that lizards could be a list. But just in case, let’s study.
If we’ve learned anything from “Arachnophobia.”

Sometimes you just can’t argue with the logic of young ‘uns.

Tie a cherry stem in a knot? Nah.

Drugs are bad, mmkay?

Always bring your A game to job interviews.

Thanks for nothing, Chris Hanson.

Same goes for you, Tawny Kitaen.

Wait a minute. This isn’t how it was supposed to go at all.

“Up” was a prophetic movie.

Shovel ready.

Zero Pinocchios.

Is that you, J.K. Rowling?

Best uncle ever.





When life imitates art.

Acceptance is the first step.

Huckabee for president!

Fair request.


There’s no reason to shout.

Life is suffering.


Dammit, Neal.

Four out of five dentists are unaware.

Not green cheese?

Never had one lesson.

The mysteries of love.

That’s it for this week, kids. What have we learned? Maybe lizards aren’t lists. But just in case, inspect your roommate. You never know; they’re shifty bastards.