Eighty weeks after the “experts” told America it would only take “two weeks to slow the spread,” Pfizer CEO Albert Bourla wants you to know that you can probably go back to living your life as normal in another 52 weeks, if you’re vaccinated.
“Within a year, I think we will be able to come back to normal life,” Bourla said on Sunday, as if the country has been holding its breath for his permission to go back to living. He was also sure to add the caveat, “I don’t think this means that we should be able to live our lives … without having vaccinations” like the one that has brought his company hundreds of millions of dollars.
Bourla was echoing a similar comment Moderna CEO Stéphane Bancel made last week, that he “assumes” life will be back to normal “as of today, in a year.” Like many self-appointed experts, Bourla and Bancel clearly don’t realize that no one outside of their self-affirming echo chamber is listening to them.
Whether because they’re vaccinated or simply because they decided the risks of the coronavirus didn’t merit putting life on pause in the first place, most Americans are already “back to normal” — or trying to as best they can, under dragged-out mandates and closures from political powerbrokers who don’t follow their own rules.
I can easily list 50 normal-life things I’ve already done without waiting for the elusive permission of “experts” like Bourla. Their attempt to control your life shouldn’t stop you from doing activities like these, either.
- Graduate college, in person, without a mask
- Finish school in person
- Go out for drinks with friends after work
- Go to an apple harvest festival
- Attend a friend’s wedding (actually, four)
- Fly across the country for an aforementioned wedding
- Enjoy a potluck breakfast at church
- Watch a soccer game
- Go to a dance
- Shop an artisan market
- Take a road trip (or several)
- Attend bridal showers
- Go thrift shopping
- Take off my mask in an airport
- Throw a graduation party for someone
- Hit a farmer’s market (in three different states)
- Enjoy a concert
- Dance at the concert
- Ride a trolley
- Eat fried shrimp at a beachside bar
- Go to the gun range
- Celebrate at an office Christmas party
- Explore a new city
- Enjoy a bonfire
- Throw a charcuterie picnic (no prepackaged nonsense here)
- Watch a rocket launch
- Go to the beach
- Go to church in person without a mask
- Sing in church
- Take communion
- Shake hands
- Hug people
- Go to the movies
- Celebrate the holidays with family
- Meet strangers
- Meet strangers’ dogs
- Go to the pool
- Catch up with friends over coffee
- Spend quality time with elderly relatives
- Greet my neighbors
- Meet strangers’ babies who toddle over to me in public
- Ride the Metro
- Strike up conversations with people
- Watch a play (or two)
- Start a job
- Explore a museum
- Hike a mountain
- Listen to a street musician
- Eat inside at a restaurant
Those are just the first 50 things that pop into mind, not to mention the countless other things that are so unremarkably normal I didn’t even think to include them. If you’re like most of the country, you could check off many of these things and more.
Conversely, if you’re still holding out for permission from out-of-touch bullies like Bourla to go on living, don’t hold your breath. It’ll be the longest “two weeks” of your life.