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12 Crazy Accusations Against Brett Kavanaugh And Their Hilarious Twitter Replies

Those trying to beat every relationship Brett Kavanaugh has ever had to death have sure come up with a lot of ways to suddenly and absurdly polarize everything he’s ever done.


Each time one thinks the reputation assassination frenzy against Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh can’t possibly get any more petty and vindictive, it does. Initially, we were all told he was possibly an attempted drunken rapist, and that this allegation submitted outside the normal hearing and vetting process was strong enough to merit delaying and even denying Kavanaugh’s confirmation.

When all the alleged witnesses to this incident instead corroborated Kavanaugh’s claim of innocence, the next allegation was that Kavanaugh exposed himself to a woman at a college party. Although nobody could be found to corroborate that claim either, myriad media outlets published it, assuaging their guilty complicitude by littering the articles with “allegedlys” and “claims” and “as reported by.”

Then a woman represented by serial self-promoting liar Michael Avenatti came forward and alleged that Kavanaugh had attended high school parties where women were served spiked punch then gang-raped. Her airing of these wild, also uncorroborated and hardly believable, claims appeared not on “The Jerry Springer Show” or in the National Enquirer, but on NBC. To absolutely no one’s surprise, the story quickly fell apart, and investigators began to publish more information with similar effects on all the other stories.

The allegations quickly shifted, then, from “possible rapist” to “guy who drank too much a number of times in young adulthood,” which, while it is not at all commendable, also describes about three-quarters of the nation, and is not a crime. It certainly is not the crimes we were promised merited attention when these allegations came forward at the last minute to derail his confirmation.

As the anti-Kavanaugh forces seek some proof to validate their horrific, wanton destruction of a man’s character, family, and life, they’ve been forced to socially criminalize increasingly trivial incidents to avoid admitting it’s their own craven character this whole episode is truly laying bare to the world. Here are 12 wild accusations floating about about Kavanaugh and, because we all need some humor right now (and if we don’t laugh we’ll be crying again), some entertaining Twitter replies.

1. Kavanaugh Gets Upset About Being Called A Gang Rapist

2. He Was a Virgin Until After College

3. Kavanaugh Likes Beer

4. Police Have Questioned Him

5. He May Have Tossed Ice and Beer at People

6. He Coaches Youth Basketball

7. He Didn’t Make the College Basketball Team

8. He Used Nicknames with High School Friends

9. He Organized A Party For School Break

10. Kavanaugh Is a White Guy

11. He Went to Catholic School

12. Kavanaugh Said a Curse Word

Correction: This article previously said Swetnick’s interview occurred at CBS, when it was NBC.