Each time one thinks the reputation assassination frenzy against Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh can’t possibly get any more petty and vindictive, it does. Initially, we were all told he was possibly an attempted drunken rapist, and that this allegation submitted outside the normal hearing and vetting process was strong enough to merit delaying and even denying Kavanaugh’s confirmation.
When all the alleged witnesses to this incident instead corroborated Kavanaugh’s claim of innocence, the next allegation was that Kavanaugh exposed himself to a woman at a college party. Although nobody could be found to corroborate that claim either, myriad media outlets published it, assuaging their guilty complicitude by littering the articles with “allegedlys” and “claims” and “as reported by.”
Then a woman represented by serial self-promoting liar Michael Avenatti came forward and alleged that Kavanaugh had attended high school parties where women were served spiked punch then gang-raped. Her airing of these wild, also uncorroborated and hardly believable, claims appeared not on “The Jerry Springer Show” or in the National Enquirer, but on NBC. To absolutely no one’s surprise, the story quickly fell apart, and investigators began to publish more information with similar effects on all the other stories.
The allegations quickly shifted, then, from “possible rapist” to “guy who drank too much a number of times in young adulthood,” which, while it is not at all commendable, also describes about three-quarters of the nation, and is not a crime. It certainly is not the crimes we were promised merited attention when these allegations came forward at the last minute to derail his confirmation.
As the anti-Kavanaugh forces seek some proof to validate their horrific, wanton destruction of a man’s character, family, and life, they’ve been forced to socially criminalize increasingly trivial incidents to avoid admitting it’s their own craven character this whole episode is truly laying bare to the world. Here are 12 wild accusations floating about about Kavanaugh and, because we all need some humor right now (and if we don’t laugh we’ll be crying again), some entertaining Twitter replies.
1. Kavanaugh Gets Upset About Being Called A Gang Rapist
Jeff Flake called Kavanaugh's interactions with senators during last week's hearing "sharp and partisan."
"We can't have that on the Court," Flake said. https://t.co/h8HTSLNxdA
— Kyle Griffin (@kylegriffin1) October 2, 2018
— Fox News (@FoxNews) October 3, 2018
In 2016, RBG joined the partisan fight, calling candidate Trump “a faker”. She added, “I can’t imagine what this place would be — I can’t imagine what the country would be — with Donald Trump as our president.” But now, Ds say Kavanaugh is too partisan. https://t.co/QMpu66jxnq
— Ari Fleischer (@AriFleischer) October 3, 2018
Kavanaugh was angry, vindictive, and hostile during his testimony about Dr. Blasey Ford’s allegations of attempted rape. We fully believe a man this belligerent and entitled is capable of sexual assault.
— Women's March (@womensmarch) October 3, 2018
Brett Kavanaugh was allowed to be angry. Dr. Ford wasn’t. Women grow up hearing that being angry makes us unattractive. Well, today, I’m angry – and I own it. I plan to use that anger to take back the House, take back the Senate, & put Democrats in charge. Are you with me? pic.twitter.com/c9DebKTQEV
— Elizabeth Warren (@ewarren) September 30, 2018
The notion that Kavanaugh’s angry denial shows he doesn’t have the temperment to be a good judge is a laughable in every direction. If someone in a courtroom accuses the judge of gang rape, the judge would tap their gavel and find the accuser in contempt of court.
— Ari Fleischer (@AriFleischer) September 30, 2018
A dispatch from the universe that is *not* being covered on Kavanaugh… I talked to roughly a dozen conservative women activists who are spitting mad about what's happening to Brett Kavanaugh:https://t.co/R3Zt06VGh7
— Emma Green (@emmaogreen) October 3, 2018
2. He Was a Virgin Until After College
Can we just talk about the ridiculousness of the excuses put forward to exonerate Kavanaugh?
1. A list of 65 girls he *didn't* rape
2. He never scheduled rape in his planner.
3. A guy who looked like him might've raped them.
4. He was a virgin for an extraordinarily long time.
— Brian Tyler Cohen (@briantylercohen) September 25, 2018
Kavanaugh says he was a virgin in high school, and I'm sure, in his mind, this is saying he was naive or that he wasn't sexual in nature, but subconsciously, this is the toxic masculinity at play. He's saying, back then, he couldn't have assaulted her. He wasn't man enough. 7/
— Jared Yates Sexton (@JYSexton) September 25, 2018
Brett Kavanaugh being a virgin through college AND trying to rape Christine Blasey Ford AND also putting his penis in Deborah Ramirez's face are not mutually exclusive. https://t.co/q23fDxGqem
— Matt Wilstein (@mattwilstein) September 24, 2018
This is ridiculous, disgusting, pointless, and would have been laughable if it wasn’t so shameful! @ChrisCuomo asks a Kavanaugh Yale Classmate if Kavanaugh was a virgin in college. pic.twitter.com/NeOq3tzCVK
— Reagan Battalion (@ReaganBattalion) September 28, 2018
No it's not. It's a sign of the ignorance of the writer of the gang-rape question Kavanaugh was asked and to which he was responding. Pretty hard to take part in a gang rape and remain a virgin. https://t.co/YhqHyQmy1l
— Brit Hume (@brithume) September 25, 2018
3. Kavanaugh Likes Beer
One night during his senior year, according to classmates who witnessed it, Kavanaugh "triumphantly hoisted an empty beer keg above his head," in recognition that he and his friends were on their way to reaching their goal of 100 kegs during the academic year, NYT reports. https://t.co/y5CyyHwgbl
— Kyle Griffin (@kylegriffin1) October 2, 2018
Beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer pic.twitter.com/4Wdd6jdOCo
— Mother Jones (@MotherJones) September 27, 2018
Speaking of RBG:https://t.co/HIFS14ExS7
— DC United (@MSMInsider) October 3, 2018
I realize @realDonaldTrump made big mistake nominating Kavanaugh. He should have nominated ME. I'm 63 and never even tasted beer. I clear the Dems big hurdle for SCOTUS nominee.
— Gov. Mike Huckabee (@GovMikeHuckabee) October 2, 2018
4. Police Have Questioned Him
This is the friend who said Kavanaugh did not drink excessively:
"A witness to the fight said that Chris Dudley, a Yale basketball player who was friends with Mr. Kavanaugh, then hit the man in the ear with a glass, according to the police report."
— Amy Siskind 🏳️🌈 (@Amy_Siskind) October 1, 2018
White House questions the relevance to the Kavanaugh nomination of report on an altercation at a bar in 1985 that was released Tuesday by police in Conn. https://t.co/gyUUS7Bqbg
— NBC News (@NBCNews) October 2, 2018
@NBCNews Are you kidding me with this news? My God I got in a food fight in college that turned crazy. That was 30 years ago too. Does that mean I am an awful person? Your news is beyond laughable at this point.
— RN—Be Resilient! (@JanineVClay) October 2, 2018
You seem very informed! He’s also a jaywalker!!!! He crossed the street outside of the cross walk back in 1992.
— BBN Angie (@adkn00) October 2, 2018
5. He May Have Tossed Ice and Beer at People
Short version: Kavanaugh and 2 friends decided a random guy in a bar was the lead singer of UB40. When he said he wasn't, and told them to leave him alone, BK threw beer in his face. The guy swung at him. BK's friend hit the guy in the head w a glass, sending him to the hospital. https://t.co/vSJJih1984
— Christina Wilkie (@christinawilkie) October 2, 2018
I am just a lawyer who wants my SCOTUS justices to be philosophical book nerds that spent their whole lives worshipping the Constitution, regardless of their interpretation of it. Is that too much to ask??
— mgr312 (@MGR31205) October 2, 2018
Soon we will find out Kavanaugh is one Christmas tree away from being Keifer Sutherland! pic.twitter.com/hFFheXHfyE
— Michelle Keast (@MichelleKeast) October 2, 2018
— Sue (@ssull5810) October 3, 2018
— Candy’s Hammer (@objectivistking) October 2, 2018
If not denying that you threw ice in a bar in college makes you a horrible person, I am in a lot of trouble.
— Jefferson Brunswick (@Midwest_Law_Guy) October 2, 2018
BREAKING NEWS…Brett Kavanaugh ran with scissors in 1972, ate with his elbows on the table in 1976 and jaywalked In 1979, I'm told. So he's absolutely unfit for the Supreme Court.
— ShelbyBundy👩🏼🦰🇺🇸 (@skylershelby) October 3, 2018
What a dangerous man! Threw ice at someone while in college! Put him on the most wanted list immediately. I don't think there's a statute of limitations on throwing ice
— L Simmons. (@kygirl270) October 3, 2018
— Tricia Wingate (@PatriciaAHenso1) October 2, 2018
— Jeff Charles, Great Negro At The Time (@JeffOnTheRight) October 3, 2018
6. He Coaches Youth Basketball
Brett Kavanaugh whines that he may never be able to coach girls basketball again. pic.twitter.com/7fFdvRReM7
— Sarah Reese Jones (@PoliticusSarah) September 27, 2018
Kavanaugh’s bragging about coaching girls’ basketball is troubling in retrospect.
— Frank Rich (@frankrichny) September 24, 2018
Alcoholism stunts your emotional growth so if you start drinking alcoholically as a teenager you stay a teenager emotionally until you deal with it. Explains a lot about Brett Kavanaugh. From his combative behavior yesterday to his unusual bond with teenage girls basketball teams
— Tom Arnold (@TomArnold) September 28, 2018
In retrospect, Kavanaugh using a girls basketball team as a prop during his confirmation hearing doesn't seem like a coincidence pic.twitter.com/OpVwapUk5g
— Judd Legum (@JuddLegum) September 24, 2018
7. He Didn’t Make the College Basketball Team
Calling Kavanaugh a “jock” for trying out for the varsity basketball team at Yale but failing to make the team is awfully generous.
— Rex Chapman🏇🏼 (@RexChapman) October 3, 2018
Brett Kavanaugh was cut by coach Tom Brennan from the Yale basketball team soon after arriving in 1983.
In 1986, Kavanaugh wrote about Brennan's departure in the Yale Daily News. pic.twitter.com/MyDiSVjFpj
— Jonathan Larsen (@jtlarsen) October 1, 2018
8. He Used Nicknames with High School Friends
“Skis” is short for “brewskis,” or beers. The entry was July 1, a Thursday. And Sen. Mitchell asked him about it.
MITCHELL: The entry says, and I quote, go to ‘Timmy’s for skis with Judge, Tom, P.J. Bernie and … Squi?’
KAVANAUGH: Squi. It’s a nickname.
— Jackie Speier (@RepSpeier) September 28, 2018
Judge Kavanaugh's first name?
Judge Kavanaugh's nickname?
Put 'em together:
Brettbart. Which is kind of like Breitbart. As in Breitbart News.
Coincidences are funny. That is all.
— Sophie Bearman (@stbearman) October 3, 2018
— JeezOPete (@doodledeedub) October 3, 2018
More evidence that Kavanaugh lied under oath about the extent of his drinking, and about his nickname, Bart. The lying alone should disqualify him and any decent man would withdrawal his nomination instead of putting his family through this. https://t.co/1aQ2n4Xjei
— Eric Rosswood (@LGBT_Activist) October 3, 2018
If every HS grad’s yearbook & memories were subjected to same hostile, evil-eyed scrutiny as #BrettKavanaugh, millions would be shamed & unemployable-including most Democrats. If every kid who ever told a fart joke or referenced naughty sex was excoriated, it would be mass shame.
— Geraldo Rivera (@GeraldoRivera) October 1, 2018
9. He Organized A Party For School Break
We've gone from De Palma to John Hughes in less than a week. "He spiked the punch and gave out red Solo Cups!" https://t.co/5zolxJjzEu
— Julie Kelly 🇺🇸 (@julie_kelly2) October 2, 2018
"This letter makes it clear that not only was it a part of their life, and a regular part of their life, but it was a core a part of their life and something they did to excess." – NYT's David Enrich, who helped break the story of Kavanaugh's 'obnoxious drunks' letter pic.twitter.com/CfYRn8kYVL
— Don Lemon Tonight (@DonLemonTonight) October 3, 2018
Breaking news: A college student drinks beer with his buddies.
The Ladies Temperance Society should start pushing for prohibition with the full backing of Democrat puritans.
— your re-education camp roomate (@gulag_77) October 3, 2018
10. Kavanaugh Is a White Guy
Hell hath no fury like a white man told he can’t take whatever he wants whenever he wants it. pic.twitter.com/RbnGWYPB7p
— Dr. Thrasher (@thrasherxy) September 27, 2018
"Brett Kavanaugh barely even had to try. Kavanaugh’s alternately blundering, messy, enraged, arrogant performance gave us a close-up look at what white fragility and entitlement look like." https://t.co/Irk64tU7BH #StopKavanaugh
— Democratic Coalition (@TheDemCoalition) September 29, 2018
Kavanaugh is the kind of dangerous, entitled white man many of us have encountered all throughout our lives. If he is confirmed, I’m even more afraid of the revenge he’ll seek after this hearing.
— Raquel Willis (@RaquelWillis_) September 27, 2018
The angry white man – crying routine is so typical of an alcoholic. Is #Kavanaugh drunk?
— Eva Golinger (@evagolinger) September 27, 2018
Kavanaugh feels betrayed because he's a born-into-privilege white man who got to his station in life by sucking up and shitting down. Today, his enablers aren't there and he's being confronted about his conduct. That inspired his sobbing in self-pity. Gross. Pathetic frat boy.
— Tina Dupuy (@TinaDupuy) September 27, 2018
"The attacks on Brett Kavanaugh on the basis of his skin colour, a natural characteristic over which he has no control, confirms that whiteness has been well and truly pathologised," writes Brendan O'Neill.https://t.co/h2o1WCcqo4
— The Spectator World (@TheSpectator) October 1, 2018
Hell hath no fury like an entitled white man denied. https://t.co/PPv1DCdVGh
— Jonathan Capehart (@CapehartJ) September 28, 2018
Ermm…. I just don't have words… pic.twitter.com/bYdnVuaT2F
— Alex Cheney (@AlexC93) October 1, 2018
11. He Went to Catholic School
Kavanaugh repeatedly using the Catholic school line as if it’s endowed greater virtue. I went to different schools including a catholic one, no one misbehaves like catholic school kids and you certainly don’t put “underage drinking” on a calendar at home. #KavanaughConfirmation
— Vincent McAviney (@VinnyMcAv) September 27, 2018
— Cheri Jacobus (@CheriJacobus) October 1, 2018
12. Kavanaugh Said a Curse Word
JUST IN: Kavanaugh cursed. He threw a beer. Inside the bar brawl from the Supreme Court nominee's college days that eventually prompted a call to the police https://t.co/odi0TOtTzQ
— Bloomberg (@business) October 1, 2018
The New York Times isn't even pretending anymore. The byline for the latest hit piece on Kavanaugh is a woman who stated her opposition to him on July 9.https://t.co/y9b4i9B2ca pic.twitter.com/REadULW4LR
— Brent Scher (@BrentScher) October 1, 2018
Correction: This article previously said Swetnick’s interview occurred at CBS, when it was NBC.