Despite the paroxysms of wailing, the gnashing of teeth, the marching on the National Mall, and the smashing of windows, Inauguration Day was a great day for the Left. Now, they have their new Nixon.
Facebook feeds are swollen with images of happy, smiling protesters. “Look! The kids at their first political rally!” “The family that protests together stays together!” Countless selfies show beaming faces with this or that government building in the background. (That gave me an idea: a combination protest sign handle/selfie stick. “One less thing to carry when you march! Leaves one hand free for giving the finger! Order in the next ten minutes…”)
News reports feature throngs of people flooding the streets of cities around the globe, brandishing signs and banners—“Donald, I want my uterus back!!!” The usual gaggle of celebrities participate, of course, capitalizing on the opportunity to get in front of the cameras.
Madonna, her 30-year-old face perched upon her 60-something body, exhorts the crowd to bomb the White House while teaching us it is perfectly acceptable to shout “f–k you” into the PA system at a rally attended by thousands of children. Ashley Judd’s contribution to protesting Trump’s vile, perverted sexism is to introduce the concept of nocturnal emissions to these same kids (Mommy, what’s a wet dream?).
This is just a rumor, but I heard that Bill Clinton was watching a news feed of the crowd at the Women’s March, when he remarked “That’s a whole lotta’ poon-tang out there.” Hillary overheard the comment, and he hasn’t been seen since.
Why Everyone Looks So Happy
But here’s the thing: if people are taking to the streets to express their fear and anger, why do so many of them look so happy? Nostalgia. These are the Days of Rage V2.0, and the lefties are reliving the best times of their lives. Plus, they can bring the grandkids for a hands-on, experiential learning moment in civic engagement, which can be best expressed by taking a day off work and disrupting traffic for those who are trying to get to the office.
Hatred of the generic Conservative White Male has served its purpose for the past eight years, but as a boogeyman he’s a bit diffuse. Now they have a flesh-and-blood evil madman, who provides much-improved focus for their hatred.
And there’s plenty to hate. If you wanted to create a caricature of the misogynist, sexist, racist, xenophobic, homophobic, greedy, anti-science, climate-denying ruthless jerk that we’ve been told embodies the typical Republican guy, you’d be hard-pressed to top the actual caricature that is Donald Trump.
This, despite all the whining to the contrary, is a magic moment for the Left. Rachel and Keith will have endless raw material for screeding, the media will go insane attacking Trump (much more satisfying than suppressing actual news), and productivity will plummet because workers will be delayed from getting to work by crowds of sign-carrying protesters, baked out of their skulls on high-potency legal weed.
For liberals, civic engagement is practiced in one of two forms: controlling the government and shoving ill-conceived, disastrous policy down our gullets, or taking to the streets when someone else does. So, for the next four years (at minimum) we should expect to see a whole lot of leftist civil-disobedience frolicking.
Freed from the burdens of enacting destructive policy, issuing executive orders, or expressing support for same, liberals can return to the type of citizenship they perfected on campus so many years ago: Busting up stuff.
