Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson’s character in HBO’s “Ballers” is exactly who we need to run for president in 2016. As a former NFL player-turned-money-manager, Spencer Strasmore (played by our future leader) knows how to handle other people’s problems, and does so while looking presidential.
OKAY, STOP. Before reading another word, you must play the show’s theme song (Weezy’s “Right Above It”) in the background to set the mood.
Now that we’ve got that out of the way, here’s 12 reasons why “Ballers” proves The Rock should be our next president.
1. He started from the bottom, and now he’s here — and by “here” we mean KILLING THE GAME.
2. He could handle our national security ALL ON HIS OWN.
3. He knows how to treat a lady. He’s supportive of his girlfriend’s career — even if it means they will be physically separated.
4. He knows how to keep his cool.
5. He packs a punch in 140 characters.
6. He’s diplomatic.
7. He has the best advisors.
(DO YOU RECOGNIZE THESE GUYS FROM “THE WEST WING”?)
8. Every great president has a vice — John F. Kennedy’s was stewardesses and Abraham Lincoln’s was top hats — Strassmore’s is pain killers.
9. He handles criticism in stride.
10. Alright, let’s be honest — we haven’t had a hot president in a while and could use some more eye candy in the Oval Office.
11. His financial know-how would save our great nation from financial ruin.
12. He’s great at handling everyone else’s shit.
Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson is Making America Great Again, one episode of “Ballers” at a time.