Season 12 of “The Bachelorette” will end tonight — and JoJo Fletcher will be stuck with one of these two goons. Eye roll.
Last week, JoJo said “bye bye” to Chase, the last remaining decent guy, immediately after he said “I love you” for the first time. The week before, she sent home Luke — the hunky war hero who was arguably the best guy of the whole season.
Now she’s set to pick between two losers — Robby Hayes and Jordan Rodgers — who are both really bad at pretending to be anything more than fame-hungry pretty boys who use way too many hair products.
Whenever Robby opens his mouth, it feels like he’s trying to sell a used car. In tonight’s episode, he will ask both of JoJo’s parents for their blessing when he asks for her hand in marriage.
Try to watch this sneak peak without grimacing. I dare you.
Barf. Let’s not forget that a hot second prior to filming this season of “The Bachelorette,” Robby had a long-term girlfriend, who he dumped for the chance to be on TV. And he kinda lied about the whole thing for a long time.
Rodgers — Aaron Rodgers’s brother — has also been accused of not being in this for the right reasons. He reportedly scored a contract with SEC Network since appearing on the show, which seems to prove the theory that looking for love probably wasn’t the only thing on his mind when he decided to join the cast. His ex-girlfriend has also accused him of cheating right after the first episode of the season aired, in which Jordan claimed his brief stint in the NFL had kept him too busy for her.
Not that long ago, Jordan threw his older brother under the bus, telling Jojo the Green Bay Packers quarterback abandoned the family to pursue football stardom — a story that has yet to be confirmed.
Whoever Jojo picks tonight won’t be the right guy, because she sent all the good ones home already. She probably won’t find lasting happiness after tonight, but it’s still fun for the rest of us to drink two-buck chuck while watching people trying (and failing) to be genuine about their feelings on TV.