The two major stories, I’m told,
Aside from the damnable cold
Are a traffic scandal
And job growth mishandled
At least that’s what’s above the fold.
Gov’nor Christie got stuck in a jam
Let me tell you how sorry I am:
Good folks from the South
Don’t care for loudmouths
I don’t think I give one tinker’s damn.
As Christie’s undoubtedly learning
A desire that borders on yearning
Exists in the press
To show he’s a mess
And douse his ambitions a’burning.
The new job report’s suitably grim;
Our econ’my lacks vigor and vim.
Yet no people despair –
For they have free healthcare!
So one worries the people are dim.
It’s difficult not to despise
The people who’re taken by lies
Deserve all their lumps
Oh, God love them but damn their eyes.
I am honestly starting to think
I should stick to reviewing the drink.
The news makes me sicker
Than any old liquor
I’m not feeling at all in the pink.