The town criers locked and loaded their battle wind chimes, sending their nightmarish bells ringing out. Hearing their call, half of us strode forth, cautious, and embraced the new.
As the Knights Templar foretold, as the shadows pass the day, in this sign thou shall conquer.
Sit back, ponder an age come and past.
‘You say it’s your birthday? It’s my birthday too!’ What a coincidence.
The Ghosts of Christmas Past: ‘Take Heed, Rise, and Walk with Me.’
Learn to be the king of wrap. There is none higher. Sucker present-wrappers will call you sire.
For your Christmas card, instead of capturing that one perfect moment when no one is crying, just go for it. Let the shriek flag fly.
You better not pout, you better not cry. You better not pout, I’m telling you why: Santa Claus is gunning you down.
Our brains are on fire, our noses incapable of drawing oxygen, our skulls on the verge of exploding, and we can’t find an angry mountain lion on Amazon Prime to come dispatch us.
I’m giving you a choice: either put on these glasses or start eatin’ that trash can.
Stop rubbing our noses in your wealth and status and instead let us inhale the delicious scent of freedom.
Sing me the songs of dark magic, oh weird Twitter.
Let us come together with Bigfoot and ride a comet into eternity, baby.
Cubs win! It’s a useful reminder that it’s not politics that makes America what we are, but we the people.
On Sunday, we shall decide. Do we accept our overlords, or do we reject them? Do we embrace agrarian myths, or do we do battle against lies concerning lamp oil?
Christians in Syria face religious persecution and even genocide. How should we respond to their plight? One refugee gives a nuanced perspective.
There are times to make a point, and there are times to hand over a Snickers. Halloween is a time for the latter.
Let’s take a trip through the Hundred Acre Wood.
The universe is large, it contains multitudes—including parallel ones in which poets are assassins.
After one of these parasitic Baby Boomers is elected president, there will be much rending of cloth and gnashing of teeth. Then life will continue pretty much apace.
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