(Pyongyang) — Great Leader Donald J. Trump today addressed the peoples of Nevada and South Carolina from the podium of MSNBC’s “Morning Joe,” stating that for too long, America has been a nation of losers, and not of winners. Marshal Trump blamed America’s sorry state on the vile machinations of dummies, cheats, low-energy people, liars, false Christians, and jackals, chief among them thrice-accursed traitor for all times Ted Cruz, whose name shall be uttered in damnation forevermore.
“Ted Cruz’s wicked ambition has led him to slander so many people, as the leader of a faction of dung-eating gangsters and despicable criminals, hoping to seize power and use it for his own unspeakable ends,” said Great Leader Donald J. Trump, “that I can’t believe anyone hasn’t seen through his lies. He lies about Dr. Ben Carson. He lies about Marco Rubio. And now he’s lying about me!” thundered Generalissimo Trump to the acclaim of ordinary workers and peasants throughout South Carolina.
Amongst Ted Cruz’s abominable and unnamable crimes, which shall ever besmirch his reputation and that of his family, are calumnies and wild-eyed accusations such as that Great Leader Donald J. Trump supports the disgusting child slayers of Planned Parenthood, or that our Marshal is not the greatest supporter of gun rights and the Second Amendment for all times and all places. The words of the despicable Ted Cruz must be dismissed as the drunken hooting of a barbarous ape. Ten thousand years of life to Supreme Leader Donald J. Trump!
“Ted Cruz’s mortification must be such that future generations look upon his infamies in horror and shame,” said Katrina Pierson, national spokeswoman for the esteemed philosopher and businessman Donald J. Trump. “Ted Cruz was entrusted by the Party with high office, and received the personal benevolences of Great Leader Donald J. Trump, the Mountain Eagle whose smiling face eclipses that of the sun,” Pierson added. “It is beneath a human being to repay the kindness of one’s betters with lies and contempt. Yet this is what the shameless Ted Cruz, a pimple in human form on the rump of our Party, has done. At the Party convention in Cleveland, the lies of Ted Cruz shall be exposed and he shall be led away in shackles to a dog’s death.”
In contrast to the deceits and villainies of traitor Ted Cruz, Great Leader Donald J. Trump has stood as a stalwart opponent of those who would betray the peoples of Nevada and South Carolina. Donald J. Trump-thought, and the Make America Great Again idea of our Dear Leader Donald J. Trump, shine as a beacon in the darkness, guiding ships into harbor and lost children into the arms of joyful mothers and fathers. All polls and surveys prove beyond refutation that Marshal Donald J. Trump is the peoples’ happiness.
Ted Cruz has revealed his true snake’s nature by uttering the following: “Great Leader Donald J. Trump is very pro-choice and is not a supporter of the Second Amendment.” The slanders and lies of odious Ted Cruz, the motherless son of a braying Canada ass, shall be corrected in a lawsuit which is to be filed at any moment before the highest court in the land, the New York Supreme Court, the home of great and tremendous judges including Maryanne Trump Berry, the most learned and beloved sister of People’s Hero Donald J. Trump, champion of the New Hampshire primary election and all reputable polls.
From ages ago, Eternal President Donald J. Trump had a vision for America, and for Nevada and South Carolina, of high-paying jobs returning from eternal enemy China, whose negotiation skills are legendary, such that China has repeatedly duped the wicked fools who came before Donald J. Trump. Dummies! And of a wall built from sea to shining sea, paid for by Mexico, a wall of 1,000 cubits in height, built of the most luxurious materials, manned by eternally vigilant soldiers of the Great American Army, designed and conceived from the visionary mind of Donald J. Trump. So shall America be made great again!
Opposition to Marshal Trump’s plans for America can only come from saboteurs, wreckers, and low-energy types, all reporters agree. Opposition to Great Leader Donald J. Trump comes from the traitors at Fox News, including Megyn Kelly, a venomous serpent whose ratings are tanking because all of her reports are negative. Donald J. Trump is opposed by political midget Jeb Bush, who is a complete and utter moron, whose brother was the worst president in American history, who lied about weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, and who did not even get any oil from his reckless adventures. The hyenas of National Review, filling their cancerous gullets from the corpse of a once-great magazine, spread detestable slanders against Donald J. Trump. May all such traitors and usurpers, hirelings in the pay of greedful and ignorant Ted Cruz, eat a feast of bitter crow!
All renegades and malefactors shall be upbraided by the mailed fist of revolutionary American people, under the wise guidance of Donald J. Trump, Father to All Children. The slatternly fangs of traitor governor Nikki Haley, shame of South Carolina, shall be snapped shut and deported back to her homeland of Pakistan. Lindsey Graham, the boastful slave of weakling Marco Rubio, whose poll numbers never reached 1 percent, shall crawl on his belly before the people’s Generalissimo. Our Party and people will never pardon these political prostitutes.
The good peoples agree that Supreme Leader Donald J. Trump, matchless and invincible conqueror of New Hampshire, will go from triumph to triumph in Nevada and South Carolina and beyond, leading America once again into a new dawn of greatness. The contemptible slanderers of Donald J. Trump and America shall be forced to drink the brackish and urine-tainted waters of shame, in Canada or wherever it is they came from.
Make America great again! Vote for Great Leader and Eternal President Donald J. Trump!