What’s most amusing about Joe Biden’s staff-crafted Twitter persona is Online Joe’s fondness for posting vapid platitudes. There is a Grand Canyon-sized gap between Biden’s freewheeling conversational style and the polished persona his communication aides project on social media.
I would love to see Biden, the self-described “gaffe machine” who once referred to a url as a “website number,” actually punch out a tweet on his own. My guess is it would look something like this:
JOE BIDEN
SINK OR SWIM,I’M WITH HIMPRESIDENT OBAMA CHOSE
JOE”TWICE”BECAUSE HE THOUGHT HE WAS THE RIGHT MAN FOR THE JOB.I KNOW PRESIDENT OBAMA THINKS JOE’S THE RIGHT MAN FOR THIS JOB…
PRESIDENT OF
THE UNITED STATES🇺🇸— Cher (@cher) March 3, 2020
Or this:
I WISH TO THANK THE
PAKISTANI GOVERNMENT❣️— Cher (@cher) May 21, 2020
Or maybe this:
Will Come Back, have to clean up make up Mess I left in Bathroom. ACTUALLY WHOLE BATHROOM IS A MESS
— Cher (@cher) May 21, 2020
On second thought, it’s possible he would just plagiarize.
Anyway, Biden’s staff likes to tweet vaguely inspirational quotes on their boss’s behalf, so here’s a few of them reimagined as the kind of motivational poster you might find in your kid’s fourth-grade classroom. (H/t to this tweet.)
In the words of Biden’s opponent, a man who likes Twitter a little too much, “Enjoy!”
