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Best Tweets Of The First Biden-Sanders Democratic Primary Debate

In case you missed it while out searching the earth for the last available bottle of Purel, we collected the best tweets of the debate so you won’t have missed a thing.


The last few weeks have felt like a lifetime, and not just because our kids are all home from school. Since the last debate, all but three of the Democratic candidates for President have dropped out: Bernie Sanders, Joe Biden, and Tulsi Gabbard.

The DNC changed the debate rules to make sure it was an all-boys club this time, though, as Biden and Sanders squared off mano a liver-spotted mano. In case you missed it while out searching the earth for the last available bottle of Purel, we collected the best tweets of the debate so you won’t have missed a thing.

Politics in a Time of Corona

They started out throwing elbows, but not in the usual sense of the term.

The podiums were six feet apart.

Even the usual audience was missing, in accordance with CDC recommendations. Some people liked it.

Others didn’t.

As you might expect, the first questions dealt with the coronavirus outbreak sweeping the globe. Biden’s first reaction was not encouraging.

The rest of his answer was a bit confused.

Sanders said that we wouldn’t have any problems with the Wuhan flu if only we had a socialized healthcare system.

Biden picked up on the flaw in Bernie’s argument.

Then he declared war on a microbe?

Then, he called for calm.

But also war.

The whole exchange lacked the poll-tested smoothness of prior contests.

Sanders was asked whether China should be held responsible for concealing the spread of the virus until it was too late. Given the choice to condemn a communist nation or to not answer the question, well, you know how this will go.

He was next asked about our economic response and told some lies about Trump giving free money to banks.

Biden suggested that bailouts are good, at times, but that our options are limited here.

Sanders followed Biden in becoming confused about which newfangled virus it was this time.

He quickly got back to his answer to the question—and every question.

Biden’s answers began to stray into the esoteric.

Then they both assured the American people that, like Paul’s grandfather in A Hard Day’s Night, they are very clean.

While we’re on the subject of A Hard Day’s Night, fun fact: Bernie Sanders is older than Paul McCartney.

Other People’s Money

After all the virus talk, campaign finance came up. Biden noted that he had spent far less money than Sanders and was still beating him. Then he said we had to get money out of politics, for some reason.

Biden invited Sanders to join him in calling for banning all campaign contributions and making the taxpayers support these bozos, referencing a decades-old legislative proposal of his. Bernie was unimpressed.

It’s not surprising: outdated ideas that no one ever voted for are kind of Bernie’s thing.

Sanders also attacked Biden on Social Security, claiming that Biden wanted to cut it and other entitlements. This is where it started to get heated.

Bernie implored the viewers at home to “go to the youtube” for proof of Biden’s dastardly attempt to balance the budget many years ago.

CNN was waiting to pounce on this one, claiming that Sanders had also suggested changes to Social Security. It was kind of a dumb gotcha—Bernie has never tried to cut any program except for those related to America’s military strength and preparedness.

Biden changed the subject to guns, which Bernie used to like, and pretended that he made it impossible to sue gun manufacturers (he didn’t).

There was also some stuff about a bankruptcy bill from the fifteen years ago.

Joe’s With Her

In lieu of an audience, they took questions on video from “ordinary Americans”

In response to a long rambling question about abortion and, Biden dropped the big news of the night.

Would Bernie agree to the same? Eh, maybe.

There followed a brief discussion of abortion.

That was unsurpsing, but both men’s insistance on never deporting illegal immigrants except, possibly, if they committed felonies, was enlightening.

Bernie went further, calling the guest worker program Biden supported in 2007 “slavery”. Biden rejected that argument, as you might expect.

Should local cops be able to turn in illegal immigrant criminals to ICE? In the strongest terms of the night, both candidates said no.

Go Green, Go Broke

We entered the global warming section of the debate, when all the candidates agree to adopt the most extreme measures possible so that China can keep polluting.

Bernie and the Revolution

CNN’s moderators used the foreign policy section to do what Democrats won’t: question Bernie about the decades and decades he spent praising foreign dictators.

Biden started to make a particularly bizarre analogy, but Sanders cut him off.

After closing statements, they ended. There wasn’t much more to say, really. The general impression of things was pretty simple.