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Things Mike Bloomberg Could’ve Spent $200 Million On Instead Of His Pointless Campaign

Former New York City Mayor and 2020 contender Mike Bloomberg has already spent $200 million on his campaign in advertisements alone.


Former New York City Mayor and 2020 contender Mike Bloomberg has already spent $200 million on his campaign in advertisements alone. Bloomberg has been in the 2020 race for only about seven weeks, but his ad buys have almost surpassed the rest of the 2020 field combined.

According to Advertising Analytics, Bloomberg has spent $20o million, while the rest of the 2020 Democratic field has spent $222 million combined.

While Bloomberg is polling in fifth place at 5.8 percent nationally, he is not competing in any of the early primary states and has yet to meet the DNC’s threshold for the seventh round of Democratic debates. He may have been a viable candidate had he entered the 2020 race earlier, but it appears, it’s too late for Bloomberg.

Since Bloomberg’s campaign has become pointless in the long haul, we’ve thought of five ways Bloomberg could have better spent his $200 million.

1. 133 Million Big Gulps

During his tenure as New York City’s mayor, Bloomberg banned the sale of sugary drinks larger than 16 ounces, forcing New Yorkers to say goodbye to their “Big Gulp” beverages. To apologize for taking away sugary goodness from New York City, Bloomberg should spend his next $200 million on 133 million Big Gulps.

2. Peloton Bikes for Big Gulp Consumers

In the spirit of good health and the notoriously laughable Peloton advertisement, Bloomberg could have bought a fleet of 89,086 Peloton bikes for Big Gulp consumers. Bloomberg could open a whole chain of cycling studios, which would likely be better for Americans than his presidential campaign.

3. Campaign Strategists with Better Ideas than Turning the East Room into WeWork

With $200 million, Bloomberg could definitely get some better campaign strategists. He should fire whoever suggested the idea of turning the East Room into a WeWork space — and hire anybody with better ideas than that.

“As president, I’ll turn the East Room into an open office plan, where I’ll sit with our team,” Bloomberg tweeted.


4. Donations to a Candidate Smarter than the Current NYC Mayor

Bloomberg’s mayoral successor, Bill de Blasio, is likely New York City’s most annoying mayor. According to Vox, he has a problem with his popularity and all-around likability. He insists on working out at the YMCA far from his home, for which he’s received endless backlash, and his progressive stances have created an uptick in homelessness for New York City.

If Bloomberg actually wanted to help his city, he could invest his $200 million in a candidate who isn’t such an unlikable man.

5. Payment for Less Than 0.000004% of Elizabeth Warren’s ‘Medicare for All’ Plan

With $200 million, Bloomberg’s massive advertisement haul would pay for only 0.00000385 percent of Elizabeth Warren’s proposed “Medicare for All” plan. Yup, you read that correctly. Less than 0.000004 percent. Warren’s proposed plan would cost $52 trillion, meaning Bloomberg’s oversized advertisement haul would cover only a minuscule percentage — showing the insane scope of Warren’s proposed plans.