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Top Tweets Of Night Two Of The Second Round Of Democratic Debates

We’ve collected the best tweets about the round two of the Democratic debate from Detroit. You can feel like you really watched it without the discomfort of having actually done so.


Did you have enough of the Democratic debates on Tuesday, when the first ten candidates had their battle royal? (Or in Sanders’s case, the battle proletarian?) Was the thought of another three hours watching ten people boast about how much of your life they want to control just too much to bear?

Fear not: we’ve collected the best tweets about the round two of the Democratic debate from Detroit. You can feel like you really watched it without the discomfort of having to have actually done so.
CNN started, as they did last night, with an NFL-style intro segment.

Who Am I? Why Am I Here?

Some of the candidates used the opening statement time to remind the viewers who they were and that they existed. Michael Bennet of Colorado did so at an oddly leisurely pace.

Compared to the night before, the atmosphere on stage was subdued.

It got kind of lively in the audience, though.

Sticks and Stones May Break My Bones, But Obamacare Can’t Fix Them

The first topic again tonight was healthcare. Kamala Harris has been all over the map about what she says she would do to Americans’ health insurance, and the candidates took the opportunity to pile on her from every direction. She did not handle it well.

Cory Booker stayed out of it, and just wanted everyone to be nice and stop all this debating.

Kirsten Gillibrand jumped in briefly.

But Tulsi Gabbard really stole the show.

Gabbard also tried to get some of that Marianne Williamson magic going in her answer.

Meanwhile, Harris tried to steal Elizabeth Warren’s non-answer from last night, but the luster was wearing off.

De Blasio jumped in to say whatever was on his mind, but no one was interested.

Bennet tried to talk them back into the mainstream, but no one was interested in that.

Coming To America

They moved next to immigration, with Julian Castro of Texas getting the first chance to answer. After over-enunciating some place names, he tried Harris’s Jedi mind trick on the question of open borders.

He criticized Biden for not stopping deportations when he was a member of the Obama adminstration.

Biden will not hear Obama’s name spoken in vain.

De Blasio jumps in to say the same thing Castro already said.

Biden brushes the unpopular mayor aside.

The moderators asked Gillibrand to join in, but she wasn’t paying attention.

Lock ‘Em Up

The next topic was crime, and who was the softest on it. According to the more progressive candidates, crime in America has one cause: Joe Biden.

Booker tried to make the point, but Biden replied with the gritty details of Booker’s two terms as mayor of Newark.

Booker had a clever rejoinder, but didn’t refute any of what Biden actually said.

Inexplicably, they now returned to last debate’s kerfuffle over the fifty-year-old fight about busing.

Back to crime, Andrew Yang chimed in with the dollars and cents.

Meanwhile, Biden riposted with some extremely factual attacks on Harris’s tenure as attorney general of California.

Gabbard joined the attack and was even more effective. See for yourself!

Head For The Hills

When the conversation turned to global warming, Yang had a powerful message: GET OUT.

Jay Inslee also chatted apocalyptically about his signature issue and Biden doubled down on Obama’s legacy.

Di Blasio promised to free the earth of lead, but the evidence suggests otherwise.

All the candidates promised an environmental Armageddon if they were not elected.

By now, Harris and Biden began to fade into the background. For Harris it was not embarrassment—she is incapable of such—but perhaps out of feeling wounded by the onslaught of logic against her nonsensical platform.

For Biden, the reason was simpler: it was past his bedtime. The other candidates took advantage, and pushed their weird ideas onto the crowd.

Gillibrand decided to lecture Biden on the travails of single parents. It was a mistake.

Closing Time

There was a brief break to genuflect to Planned Parenthood.

Also some foreign policy:

Asked about impeachment and the possibility of putting President Trump in jail, Harris revived.

But it was getting late.

In the closing statements, Gabbard shared a foreboding vision of doom.

But most of them just summed things up and plugged their websites.

All except for Biden, who after an impressive night of debating was stymied, like so many from the Silent Generation, by the computers.

It was, in fact, an appropriate place to leave us. For nearly three hours, we heard warnings of doom and promises of earthly salvation. Vast plans, rich in details, blessed by the finest wonks Washington had to offer.

To listen to them, with enough taxes, enough regulations, and maybe a few prison sentences—looking at you Kamala—we could make this whole world wonderful for everyone. There’s no downside, no trade-offs, no costs whatsoever: just good intentions transformed into perfect, technocratic results.

That’s the vision, anyway. The reality? Hell, they can’t even remember the web address.