Hunt’s Apologizes For Assuming Manwich’s Sex

Hunt’s Apologizes For Assuming Manwich’s Sex

Hunt’s, the company known for making various preserved tomato products like ketchup and tomato sauce, has officially apologized for assuming the sex of its canned sloppy Joe mix. The company is also apologizing for the carbnormative slogan, “A sandwich is just a sandwich, but a Manwich is a meal.”

A spokesman for ConAgra Foods, owner of Hunt’s, says Manwich might self-identify as a man, but so far discussions have been unproductive.

“We’ve sat down with a can of Manwich on numerous occasions, but it keeps refusing to answer any of our questions, including ones about which pronouns to use,” xe said. The spokesman then apologized for using the title of spokesman before continuing, “We’d hate to deprive consumers of a product that they can make pretty easily on their own with just some tomato sauce and a few spices, but we’re reaching a point in which we may have to pull Manwich from the shelves until this situation is resolved.”

I attempted to help figure things out and give Manwich a chance to speak, but my local grocery store removed me after other shoppers complained about a “seemingly disturbed individual vigorously questioning a stack of cans.” As of publishing time, no charges have been filed.

Richard Cromwell is a senior contributor to The Federalist. Follow him on Twitter, @rcromwell4.
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