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This Week In Weird Twitter, Volume 8

The town criers locked and loaded their battle wind chimes, sending their nightmarish bells ringing out. Hearing their call, half of us strode forth, cautious, and embraced the new.

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After a bit of discomfit, the day finally arrived. The Phaedradons were in full bloom and the galaxy lay await. All that balance required was fusion between them, the Rand Corp, and the cosmic rhythms that guide we mortals. Simple, really.

The town criers locked and loaded their battle wind chimes, sending their nightmarish bells ringing out. Hearing their call, half of us strode forth, cautious, and embraced the new, albeit while sporting bespoke radiation suits and clutching the past. Then the Phaedradons shushed the Parallexabats, who were decidedly not chill about the entire ordeal and really eager to let everyone else know that.

The past writhed, for it was a new and different day, even if one caused by the events of the past. With much sound and fury, the fusion occurred, then people noisily went on with their days. The scribe smiled and whispered, “But of course it all makes sense, you’re just not paying attention.”


What if I throw some wind chimes at you?


It gives the solutions something to do.


That’s what they want you to do.


That’s how you embrace the future!


When you go lower than wind chimes.


You’d think this would go without saying, but here we are.


Angry mobs sometimes get it right.


It’s a prerequisite for joining the shadow government.


All part of the cosmic rhythms, man.


‘Twas brillig and the slithy toves.


I’d gyre and gimble in the wabe.


Are they pasta fans though?


Then you explain what’s going on.


It was his time.


It’s important to keep your adversaries warm and cozy.


Some of the ancients walk amongst us. They’re into gardening, as you might expect.


I like where this is going.


Always watching.


She’s gonna do just fine when the mole people unveil the new world order.


The problem is that it’s so hard to procure.


It’s called being prepared.


That’s why you commit crimes in other people’s and not your own.


Maybe that party where I kept playing wind chimes and trying to summon ghosts?


It’s all part of the master plan.


See?


Still pretty good.


Exactly.


When the wind chimes knock you back, you don’t know where you’ll land.


Things are a little wild right now, but don’t get carried away. There are many choices you can make that don’t involve Denny’s.


Yeah, this waiter told me about it.


Shhh, she’s about to speak.


They did get lost at “it’s not very complicated.”


Maybe that guy at Denny’s was just trying to be poetic and failing very badly.


I guess, if you’re going to be so insistent.


You just have to enter the right promo code and then, boom, the world is yours.


Another option.


And another option.


There be wind chimes about.


I mean I guess it’s better if you’re not after world domination.


It’s what the Jabberwock would want.


This isn’t wrong, but be cool.


Does that actually work? Because if so, I’m in.


That’s just what I want you to think.


Excuse me, but I’m going to freshen my drink while y’all sort this out.


Speaking of Baron Harkonnen, this isn’t about him.


While sporting bespoke radiation suits.


They’re hard to see but brutally honest.


We’re trying.


The scribe looked up and possibly regretted making such wild claims, particularly with regard to things making sense. Maybe from 40,000 feet they do, but that dude was really off with his initial claims. Still, though, there might be a thread in there somewhere, like really nice sheets where you can’t see the threads for the count. But I digress.

In any case, the Phaedrodons and Parallexabats will continue noisily about their days, doing whatever it is that they do, but that doesn’t mean the rest of us can’t just sit back and relax. Everything is going to be fine. Probably. If nothing else, we’re witnessing history.