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WaPo Wants Americans To Eat Jell-O Like It’s The Cold War Again

Jell-O

The Washington Post seems to think we’re still in the 1950s and that mayo is an acceptable Jell-O topping.

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The Washington Post seems to think the Cold War is still ongoing, because it suggested that mayo is an acceptable Jell-O topping. Perhaps escalating tensions between Russia and pretty much every other country have set off alarm bells in WaPo’s newsroom. Their account tweeted out a recipe for an apple and celery Jell-O dish that looked like something from a 1950s Betty Crocker cookbook.

Personally, I have nothing against the greatest sandwich glue ever invented, but using it to top a wobbly, cold Thanksgiving dessert isn’t necessary, because we no longer live in the Atomic Age. When our grandmothers lived under the continual threat of a nuclear war, they participated in patriotic theater by adding gelatin and pastel food coloring to everything they cooked. These dishes of the past weren’t really designed for eating, but were intended to intimidate the enemy, serving as a juxtaposition to the small rations of dark bread Soviet tables were resigned to.

Can someone tell WaPo that the Cold War is over?

It’s 2015. We don’t have to eat Jello slathered with mayo or any other dishes that look like this:

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via Buzzfeed

Seriously, we don’t have to try to trick the Soviets into thinking that we get our food from outer space, which is where this dish must have come from:

via Buzzfeed
via Buzzfeed

Do yourself (and your guests) a favor by ignoring WaPo’s suggestion to eat mayo-topped, wobbly treats. Make some orange zest cranberry sauce instead.