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This Week In Weird Twitter, Volume 25


Once again, Daylight Saving Time is upon us. Or maybe it’s over. I can never remember. All I know is I’ve been ready for lunch around 10:15 a.m. all week and my sleep patterns have not benefitted from the extra hour. Having kids and their clock-defying circadian rhythms doesn’t help.

A common misconception about DST is that it has something to do with farmers. Farmers just go with the sun and don’t care about the clock. No, the origins of DST are murky, but stretch back to Benjamin Franklin and early iterations of technocratic planning. You’d think we would’ve learned something from this continuing and horrible experiment, but that’s not our style. Maybe it’s time to re-think that, though.

It’s always four o’clock somewhere.

How to counter DST.

Benjamin Franklin?

More technocratic meddling.

What happens when we spring forward.

DST sometimes causes issues with return time. Very problematic.

Yogi Bear’s life wasn’t as idyllic as it seemed.

Best enjoyed with classical music like Sir Mix-a-Lot.

That was close.

And history was made.

Performance art.

When the performance art career doesn’t pan out, have a backup.

This is harsh.

They’re not good listeners.

That extra hour leads to trouble.

Maybe if she tried an Uber Black?

I figured he got bitten by a radioactive rock, but this makes more sense.

Better than being bitten by Powerade.

After listening to a fire mixtape at that. He needed the help.

Who hasn’t been there?

Set realistic goals when training your pets.

You and your pets will start to converge a bit.

Man, cats, amirite?

This is a little insensitive.

They’re not all bad, though. Or at least they clean up after themselves.

Did you remember to celebrate last Sunday? I ate some vegan animals.

The first reply really brings it all home. Alas, I think Bernie is burning out.

The battle will be legendary.

The ending to the extended director’s cut of “Memento.”

I taught mine how to rap “Paid in Full.”

The waiter was confused because he didn’t call it skinny pasty cylinders.

You have to let ‘em know you’re about to get serious.

Encourage creativity in your children.

I really hope not. They smell pretty terrible.

Should’ve folded the end over.

The site only asks for symptoms to build up suspense.

*drops mic*

Great, a new “Star Wars” theory is coming.

The next bubble is inflating.

Not the most horrible prediction.

Once again we’ve reached the end of a week, although one with an extra hour. May your clocks be correct at last or wrong until DST starts or ends again, whichever it is. Remember, though, that you do have an excuse for your erratic behavior, even if it’s totally normal for you. Or not. Rolling like this is good, too.