Skip to content
Breaking News Alert Justice Jackson Complains First Amendment Is 'Hamstringing' Feds' Censorship Efforts

6 Grahams You’d Rather See Run For President Than Lindsey Graham

Fox News is reporting that Lindsey Graham is thinking about running for president. Even though he’s the Graham you’d least like to see run for president.

Share

Fox News reports:

Which Graham? I mean, it couldn’t be Lindsey Graham, the senior U.S. Senator from South Carolina, in Congress from 1995 to 2003 and in the Senate ever since. There’s no market for a moderate Republican whose main passion is foreign interventionism, right? And yet, that’s exactly what the story says.

Here are six other Grahams you’d probably rather see run for the highest office in the land before Lindsey Graham.

Heather Graham: She was great as Rollergirl in Boogie Nights but also as Daisy in the satire Bowfinger. She’s a children’s rights activist and a sex symbol.

Franklin Graham: This evangelist and missionary is president of Samaritan’s Purse, an international Christian relief organization. He’s also Billy Graham’s son.

Alexander Graham Bell: Technically not eligible to run for president on account of only being a naturalized citizen and also on account of being dead, he invented the telephone. He was an out and proud eugenicist, but so is Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg, so he might be able to pick up her supporters.

The telegram: A message or communication sent by telegraph may be outdated, yes, but it is still far more useful than Lindsey Graham.

Graham Harrell: This former Texas Tech quarterback set conference and national records for passing yards, attempts, completions, and touchdown passes. He played for the Green Bay Packers and New York Jets.

Bette Nesmith Graham: Not just the inventor of Liquid Paper, she was also the mother of Michael Nesmith of The Monkees.

Teddy Grahams: These graham cracker snacks come in the delightful shape of a bear. Introduced in 1988 by Nabisco, Teddy Grahams come in a variety of flavors (honey and chocolate are two of my favorites) as well as two distinct shapes: bears with arms up and legs closed (“hands up, don’t eat me”), and bears with legs open and arms down. In our house, we re-enact famous battles with the Teddy Grahams. Their instincts on when to go to war are better than Lindsey Graham’s.