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Joe Biden Is Our Geriatric President And He Should Embrace It


For his own safety and sanity, Biden should consider taking a very, very, very careful step back.


President Joe Biden took more than one tumble on the stairs of Air Force One Friday morning, falls which his administration chalked up to the wind.

Not only did this incident spark a barrage of memes, videos, and other humorous content mocking Biden’s fall and shed light on the corporate media’s continuos and ridiculously biased approach to covering Democrats, it also reinforced questions about the supposedly most powerful person in the country’s ability to complete relatively simple tasks.

I genuinely feel bad for Biden. He’s an elderly man who probably experienced all of the physical and emotional pain and embarrassment that comes with falling on live television not once, not twice, but three times. Biden’s most recent stumble, however, seems to indicate that the 78-year-old might be better off embracing his age and chilling in a recliner for most of the day instead of trying to govern a nation.

For one, Biden already has plenty of experience staying home and out of sight. During his 2020 presidential campaign, Biden opted to stay at home for most of the year instead of hitting the trail and traveling around the nation like his opponent former President Donald Trump, who held 86 rallies compared to Biden’s 53.

Biden’s campaign also repeatedly ended the candidate’s day early and often, issuing lids just a few hours into the workday. This laidback schedule extended into the Democrat’s tenure in the White House, which he spent two months in before his administration announced that an official presidential press conference.

This gave Biden approximately nine weeks to relax, issue an onslaught of executive orders trampling on biological sex, border security, and other important issues, and prepare to avoid any verbal gaffes or slip-ups like forgetting the name of his defense secretary.

Biden could also embrace his age by leaning into his role as grandfather to multiple grandchildren, including the one his son Hunter refused to claim and financially support until a paternity test showed that he was, in fact, the father. If Biden takes some time off and lets his eager, younger Vice President Kamala Harris take over, he’ll have more opportunities to play Mario Kart with his 26-year-old granddaughter Naomi Biden, hopefully choosing a better character to play as instead of the second-rate brother, Luigi. Instead of sitting in the driver’s seat of a gaffe machine intent on reversing the Trump administration’s policies protecting women, babies, the border faster than Mario Kart’s last lap music, maybe Biden would be better off driving on Rainbow Road.

And after calling a lid on his screen time and hanging out with his grandkids, if he can remember them, Biden can curl up in the aforementioned recliner with his “sweet,” but secret-service biting dog Major Biden, a bowl of his favorite ice cream, and babble long, winding, rambly stories about “Kamala’s wife,” “trunalimunumaprzure,” and his time in the Senate, which he said he was still running for in 2020, to whoever chooses to listen.

For his own safety and sanity, Biden should consider taking a very, very, very careful step back and welcoming his place, position, and duty as a senior citizen in America with open arms far away from breezes.