On Sunday, for the first time ever, I watched the Golden Globes. I’ve never watched an awards show all the way through, but what I learned is that it’s all about the outfits. Especially the really bad ones.
While the round-ups of the red carpet’s best looks spread across social media, here’s my take on the worst.
Gwyneth Paltrow looked a mess in her burnt umber macrame bikini beneath tulle.
https://www.instagram.com/p/B69ohINikQQ/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link
Kerry Washington in her not-top top would have looked better in, well, a top. Next time, ditch the bedazzled rope.
https://www.instagram.com/p/B69WvI-njSo/?utm_source=ig_embed
Charlize Theron was awful in the corset toga, a mash-up of Madonna and ancient Rome that never should have materialized.
https://www.instagram.com/p/B69ogEyBmrj/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link
Also Helen Mirren was just all bulky up top.
https://www.instagram.com/p/B69oSGzgao7/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link
Amy Poehler is way better looking than that green nothing dress would have you think.
https://www.instagram.com/p/B69nv1cDSOF/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link
Jason Momoa wore a crushed velvet tuxedo jacket and yes, a tank top. At least he’s married to Lisa Bonet, but even she can’t class that up. (Although she tried.)
https://twitter.com/anyaschalctra/status/1213987027076689920?s=20
Patricia Arquette was just a crushed-velvet-looking nightmare.
https://www.instagram.com/p/B69oz18n3VE/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link
Sarah Snook’s black pouf ball gown was way too much dress.
I think we can all agree that Sarah Snook pic.twitter.com/yMN5duOkR5
— Sam (@S4MST33L3) January 6, 2020
As was Scarlett Johansson’s gown, which looked like it was being yanked down by the giant, superfluous bow in the back.
https://twitter.com/Scarlett_Jo/status/1214030387002793985?s=20
Cate Blanchett’s dress was a disaster too. What are these on her arms? Chinese flip fans? She looks like she’s wearing paper and tape.
https://www.instagram.com/tv/B69oBMbALAd/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link
Jennifer Lopez looked like a gift we’re all a little scared to open.
https://www.instagram.com/p/B69ojUGjQla/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link
And of course, Michelle Williams in orange creamsicle.
https://www.instagram.com/p/B69oiM5CRLp/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link
My favorite look? Probably Awkwafina, although it was a little bit undertaker.
https://www.instagram.com/p/B69qm7MA2XT/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link
