Last night in Houston, the Democrats crammed twenty pounds of malarkey into a ten-pound sack when they reduce the field by hook or by crook and got us down to just one debate of ten presidential candidates. Some had dropped out, others were squeezed out, but those who remained came to Texas to offer their ideas about what ails this country. For three interminable hours.
Maybe you were wrapped up in a ballgame or just fell asleep halfway through the debate. Not to worry! We’ve got the best tweets of the night to bring you up to speed.
Part 1: Where’s Tulsi?
The moderators were led by Clinton White House official journalist George Stephanopoulos, and opening statements began with the usual banalities.
Klobuchar: “I don’t want to be the President for half of America, I want to be the President for ALL of America.” #DemDebate
— S.E. Cupp (@secupp) September 13, 2019
Robert O’Rourke—remember him?—took it up a notch by accusing the President of mass murder. But at least he didn’t use any foul language.
Beto had better drop an f-bomb in his opening statement if he ever wants to get above 3% in the polls. #DemDebate
— Josh Jordan (@NumbersMuncher) September 13, 2019
Andrew Yang proposed, instead, a novel tactic: vote-buying?
Silicom Valley reinventing bribing voters is amazing https://t.co/cSimzaDrZW
— Noah Rudnick (@rudnicknoah) September 12, 2019
Yang is now the Joker in the Batman (1989), throwing free money from the platform
— Matthew Continetti (@continetti) September 13, 2019
Laughing at Yang’s gimmick is the best thing that will happen tonight.
— Noah Rothman (@NoahCRothman) September 13, 2019
Unaccetpable that Andrew Yang failed to give Nick Saban credit for his idea to give 10 select familys 120k per year
— PFTCommenter (@PFTCommenter) September 13, 2019
Bernie sounded like he needed some of that “free” healthcare he’s always going on about.
Does Medicare for All cover throat lozenges?
— Jim Antle (@jimantle) September 13, 2019
Bernie kind of sounds like a guy who just smoked a full pack of cigs for the first time
— Neoliberal 🌐 (@ne0liberal) September 13, 2019
Biden, more so than earlier debates, seemed awake and crisp.
Joe Biden’s opening is vintage, on-game Biden. First I’ve seen him this race. #DemDebate
— Christopher Bedford (@CBedfordDC) September 13, 2019
Kamala Harris began, as usual, with a falsehood.
Kamala Harris says Donald Trump is definitely watching the debate. He is on CSPAN right now, in Baltimore giving a speech. Ouch, already one lie.
— David Rutz (@DavidRutz) September 13, 2019
But sadly, there was no one there to call her on it.
Tulsi’s candidacy has much more of a point than does Booker’s or Beto’s. It would be better were she up there.
— Tim Carney (@TPCarney) September 13, 2019
Part 2: If You Like Your Doctor…
For a change, this debate started with a frank discussion of the budget deficit. No, wait, just kidding, it was healthcare again.
May we never not start one of these with an extended health care debate
— Katherine Miller (@katherinemiller) September 13, 2019
As in previous debates, the discussion pitted those who want a state monopoly on healthcare against those who only want to take over part of the system.
Biden on Warren: ““The senator she’s says for Bernie. Well I’m for Barack.”
— Aaron Blake (@AaronBlake) September 13, 2019
wonder why biden is so interested in curing alzheimers
— Ken Klippenstein (@kenklippenstein) September 13, 2019
Biden came loaded for bear.
Biden had a lot of coffee.
— Damon Linker (@DamonLinker) September 13, 2019
Biden is killing it. This is the best he’s been.
— Kassy Dillon (@KassyDillon) September 13, 2019
Biden is twisting the knife into Warren and Sanders about the fact that their plans to pay for Medicare For All is not going to get remotely close to paying for it.
His problem is that voters don’t care how things are going to get paid for, which is why Warren won’t admit it.
— Josh Jordan (@NumbersMuncher) September 13, 2019
But rather than wink at the next step in the obviously incremental approach to socialized medicine, Elizabeth Warren and Bernie Sanders demanded it all, now, now, now!
Warren starts off with a big lie — that she’ll pay for $32 trillion by taxing the rich, while middle class will pay less. The phony wonk strikes again!
— Philip Klein (@philipaklein) September 13, 2019
If Elizabeth Warren would answer the question about the tax implications of her health plan, she wouldn’t be asked it over and over.
— Josh Barro (@jbarro) September 13, 2019
Bernie owned up to the raw socialism of his plans, but Warren squirmed around to avoid it.
Warren: “I’ve never actually met anyone who likes their health insurance company.” That’s a good line — in a primary. But millions of people love their insurance and want to keep it, as future GOP ads will I’m sure point out. #DemDebate
— S.E. Cupp (@secupp) September 13, 2019
“People will have access to all of their doctors.”
Gee, never heard that one before, amirite @BarackObama.
— Josh Hammer (@josh_hammer) September 13, 2019
I like my health insurance better than the DMV or Post Office. https://t.co/ydtEgHs3eZ
— Karol Markowicz (@karol) September 13, 2019
The debate was centered among the ancient trio at first.
224 years old combined https://t.co/yJPpqqm3r7
— Jonah Goldberg (@JonahNRO) September 13, 2019
Gotta say this: Bernie, with his endless shouting, reminds me of my boyhood and of a relative I was always afraid they’d make me sit next to at the Passover Seder.
— Clyde Haberman (@ClydeHaberman) September 13, 2019
But the kids table soon piped up. Harris rolled out the umpteenth version of her answer on the private insurance question.
Harris continues to be all over on the map on health care.
— Josh Kraushaar (@HotlineJosh) September 13, 2019
Kamala Harris just drips with insincerity. She’s like a Family Guy caricature of a politician.
— James Hasson (@JamesHasson20) September 13, 2019
Julian Castro distorted Biden’s position, then accused the old fellow of being off his rocker.
“Are you forgetting?” Blatant insinuating dementia to Biden from Castro.
— Damon Linker (@DamonLinker) September 13, 2019
Castro: I watched my grandmother’s diabetes getting worse and worse on Medicare.
Hence, Medicare for All.
— Megan McArdle (@asymmetricinfo) September 13, 2019
Wow. I could be wrong, but Castro saying he is fulfilling Obama’s legacy and Biden isn’t feels like a bridge a thousand miles too far.
— James Oliphant (@jamesoliphant) September 13, 2019
Yang got edgy, but didn’t really have a point.
Yang says he’s Asian so he knows a lot of doctors. As a fellow Asian, I can say this is, in fact, accurate af.
— Siraj Hashmi (@SirajAHashmi) September 13, 2019
Part 1619: Woker Than Thou
O’Rourke went extreme on the crime question, but his audience might not have been the voters.
O’Rourke running for president of the New York Times editorial board.
— Noah Rothman (@NoahCRothman) September 13, 2019
Beto just secured his job as a New York Times columnist after he loses. Watch out, they don’t pay very well.
— David Marcus (@BlueBoxDave) September 13, 2019
The moderators made up for Tulsi Gabbard’s absence by asking Harris about all the poor people she put in jail.
“I’m glad you asked me this question” is never true.
— Richard M. Nixon (@dick_nixon) September 13, 2019
The moderator just got applause, damn.
— Nick 🐋 (@TossupReport) September 13, 2019
Harris: I used to be the kind of politician who would betray any principal and say anything to get elected. But I’ve stopped doing that, trust me.
— Megan McArdle (@asymmetricinfo) September 13, 2019
Kamala Harris is making a special announcement tonight where she will randomly pick 10 families across America and incarcerate them.
— Matt Stoller (@matthewstoller) September 13, 2019
Harris says there have been “distortions” of her record but didn’t actually give any examples.
— Scott Shackford [Blue Checkmark] (@SShackford) September 13, 2019
Amy Klobuchar got a similar question, but everyone was too busy posting memes to listen.
Amy Klobuchar: I tried to nail Kirby Puckett’s ass to the wall!
(No, really, she did.)https://t.co/sN98hjt70p
— Jim Geraghty (@jimgeraghty) September 13, 2019
— Ben McDonald (@Bmac0507) August 1, 2019
Biden accidentally proposed a mass amnesty for white-color criminals.
Biden: “Nobody should be in jail for non-violent crime.”
Somewhere in the bowels of the federal prison system, Bernie Madoff applauds wildly.
— Megan McArdle (@asymmetricinfo) September 13, 2019
FLASHBACK: In 1992, Joe Biden said his crime bill would do everything but hang people for jaywalking. #DemDebate pic.twitter.com/r0WV5L7cqc
— Steve Guest (@SteveGuest) September 13, 2019
Part .30-06: Bobby’s Coming For Your Guns
The discussion moved, as it must, to guns. As usual, the candidates sparred over a minor point. Some wanted to seize all of them, some only wanted to confiscate some.
Biden suggested using legislation. Harris had other ideas.
Biden: “We have a Constitution!”
Harris: *laughs*
— Joe Bishop-Henchman 💸🚆📖⚖️ (@jbhenchman) September 13, 2019
Of course, Harris doesn’t address the question whether she has the constitutional authority, which was Biden’s point
— Rich Lowry (@RichLowry) September 13, 2019
Kamala Harris having a hard time summoning the magic from her first debate. Now bringing out corny lines like, “How about ‘yes, we can?'”
— Blake News (@blakehounshell) September 13, 2019
Harris cringey joke, Biden reminds her that the constitution exists. His strongest debate thus far.
— Guy Benson (@guypbenson) September 13, 2019
Kamala saying “yes we can” govern through executive order and then laughing is so frightening #DemDebate
— Josh Guckert (@JoshGuckert) September 13, 2019
Kamala waving goodbye to her presidential ambitions with her extreme insincerity and canned applause lines pic.twitter.com/axTEa6dzkK
— Logan Dobson (@LoganDobson) September 13, 2019
O’Rourke skipped over that ol’ Constitution too in announcing that he’d confiscate everybody’s semi-automatic rifles—but just the ones designed to kill people.
What gun isn’t designed to kill people?
— Stephen Miller (@redsteeze) September 13, 2019
Democrats infringing upon our civil rights #DemocraticDebate #DemDebate #Cato2020 pic.twitter.com/XMDS3ouYM4
— cattypundit (@cattypundit) September 13, 2019
So is anyone making the “Beto’s car is more dangerous than my gun” bumper stickers yet?
— Mark Hemingway (@Heminator) September 13, 2019
I’m old enough to remember when nobody was coming for my guns. pic.twitter.com/YZO9Tln5YA
— Mike Morrison 🇺🇲 (@MikeKMorrison) September 13, 2019
Part ∞: Potpourri
Halfway through, and it was already going on too long. After scarcely mentioning him in the first two rounds, everyone seemed to realize that a Democrat might want to claim Barack Obama’s legacy as his own.
Biden: “I stand with Barack Obama all 8 years…good, bad, and indifferent”
— Saagar Enjeti (@esaagar) September 13, 2019
Other retired politicians were conspicuous in their absence from the debate chatter.
How mad is Hillary Clinton that she’s not been mentioned during tonight’s “debate”? https://t.co/0miPOOglvQ
— Rich Logis (@RichLogis) September 13, 2019
They talked immigration, and Beto said to just tear down that pesky border
Beto opening the border
— Charles Fain Lehman (@CharlesFLehman) September 13, 2019
“Legalize America,” Beto says talking about immigration.
What does it mean? Nothing.
— Jason Howerton (@jason_howerton) September 13, 2019
On trade protection, the candidates were all offered the opportunity to say how they would repeal Trump’s tariffs as soon as they got to the White House. Amazingly, NONE of them said they would do so.
“I like these tariffs, not those yucky Trump tariffs.”- Democrats, pretty much
— Karol Markowicz (@karol) September 13, 2019
Klobuchar: I don’t like the tariffs that affect my constituents, the other ones are fine tho
— Neoliberal 🌐 (@ne0liberal) September 13, 2019
So far every Dem candidate asked has said the tariffs are hurting Americans. But none have said they’d stop them. #DemDebate
— S.E. Cupp (@secupp) September 13, 2019
Harris suggested she was not a protectionist, but will probably issue a correction tomorrow.
Every Kamala answer starts with a Trump rant.
— pneumataster (@neontaster) September 13, 2019
Kamala Harris: “I am not a protectionist Democrat.”#DemDebate
— Brad Polumbo (@brad_polumbo) September 13, 2019
While Warren sounded like she copied the president’s notes.
Basically, it’s the exact same policy as Trump, with the words “environmental” and “labor” ornamentally appended. https://t.co/mMM6m91gTt
— Megan McArdle (@asymmetricinfo) September 13, 2019
Not one. https://t.co/gOwTopf8Z3
— Ben Domenech (@bdomenech) September 13, 2019
Corey Booker made an actual joke, which was nice for the folks still awake.
Did Booker just say he found Trudeau’s hair menacing? #DemDebate pic.twitter.com/GjvsxgcuiF
— Chris Stigall (@ChrisStigall) September 13, 2019
Bernie, uh, you know.
— Matt Walsh (@MattWalshBlog) September 13, 2019
They finally got into foreign policy.
“Yes,” Elizabeth Warren wants troops out of Afghanistan with no Taliban deal. That’s likely the route Trump will end up taking.
— Eliana Johnson (@elianayjohnson) September 13, 2019
Mayor Pete comes out in favor of the president actually getting permission from Congress to wage wars, as the Constitution requires. Wish this was not such a bold opinion but it actually is!
— Robby Soave (@robbysoave) September 13, 2019
Harris flailed helplessly.
I kept watching. Kamala Harris shouldn’t have made a “little dude” joke to Stephanopoulos like that. He clearly didn’t like it and that was just weird and awkward.
— Brandon Darby (@brandondarby) September 13, 2019
Harris is your drunk aunt at Thanksgiving who keeps bursting into laughter for no apparent reason and everyone just stares awkwardly
— Matt Walsh (@MattWalshBlog) September 13, 2019
Biden started fading.
Biden answer on Afghanistan and Iraq awfully confusing.
— Josh Kraushaar (@HotlineJosh) September 13, 2019
This Biden Iraq AUMF answer is gibberish.
— Jim Antle (@jimantle) September 13, 2019
Biden is conflating Iraq and Afghanistan, no? His partition plan was for Iraq…
— John Dickerson (@jdickerson) September 13, 2019
Is there anything more senatorial than forgetting which country you wanted to dismember?
Booker got a question about veganism, and was disarmingly clever—who is this guy and what happened to shouty Spartacus?
Booker with a good, cute answer to a politically treacherous question: Do you want Americans in Texas to follow your Vegan diet? “No. Let me translate that into Spanish: No.”#DemDebate
— S.E. Cupp (@secupp) September 13, 2019
There was some talk about education, and Biden was surprisingly old-school.
Did Joe Biden just day we need to turn the record players on for the young kids??
— Logan Dobson (@LoganDobson) September 13, 2019
Just as we neared the end, the protesters started hollering. And at the least appropriate moment.
Hecklers jeer Biden as he is quite obviously about to recall the death of his family.
— Tim Carney (@TPCarney) September 13, 2019
Protestors during debates are such deeply insufferable asshats. #DemocraticDebate
— Meghan McCain (@MeghanMcCain) September 13, 2019
Their message was incomprehensible, and the show moved on.
Protesters at #DemDebate : FADOUERAFFDAFOIUENOAGFWW!
FDAFASFIUEOAGHAIGAWUGHAW!
FDAKOFUAIGOAGJDAIOGGADASD!
Us: pic.twitter.com/7viEN5sOx5
— Edward Bowser (@etbowser) September 13, 2019
It was time to shut it down.
Like so many overlong features, this debate has third act problems.
— Peter Suderman (@petersuderman) September 13, 2019
There were a few more closing statements about resilience.
Surprised Klobuchar didn’t say her biggest professional setback was eating a salad with a GODDAMN comb
— Siraj Hashmi (@SirajAHashmi) September 13, 2019
But what was the real takeaway?
Pity the fact checkers tomorrow.
— Noah Rothman (@NoahCRothman) September 13, 2019