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Here Are The Best Tweets From The Third Democratic Primary Debate

Last night in Houston, the Democrats crammed twenty pounds of malarkey into a ten-pound sack when offering their ideas about what ails this country. For three interminable hours.


Last night in Houston, the Democrats crammed twenty pounds of malarkey into a ten-pound sack when they reduce the field by hook or by crook and got us down to just one debate of ten presidential candidates. Some had dropped out, others were squeezed out, but those who remained came to Texas to offer their ideas about what ails this country. For three interminable hours.

Maybe you were wrapped up in a ballgame or just fell asleep halfway through the debate. Not to worry! We’ve got the best tweets of the night to bring you up to speed.

Part 1: Where’s Tulsi?
The moderators were led by Clinton White House official journalist George Stephanopoulos, and opening statements began with the usual banalities.

Robert O’Rourke—remember him?—took it up a notch by accusing the President of mass murder. But at least he didn’t use any foul language.

Andrew Yang proposed, instead, a novel tactic: vote-buying?

Bernie sounded like he needed some of that “free” healthcare he’s always going on about.

Biden, more so than earlier debates, seemed awake and crisp.

Kamala Harris began, as usual, with a falsehood.

But sadly, there was no one there to call her on it.

Part 2: If You Like Your Doctor…

For a change, this debate started with a frank discussion of the budget deficit. No, wait, just kidding, it was healthcare again.

As in previous debates, the discussion pitted those who want a state monopoly on healthcare against those who only want to take over part of the system.

Biden came loaded for bear.

But rather than wink at the next step in the obviously incremental approach to socialized medicine, Elizabeth Warren and Bernie Sanders demanded it all, now, now, now!

Bernie owned up to the raw socialism of his plans, but Warren squirmed around to avoid it.

The debate was centered among the ancient trio at first.

But the kids table soon piped up. Harris rolled out the umpteenth version of her answer on the private insurance question.

Julian Castro distorted Biden’s position, then accused the old fellow of being off his rocker.

Yang got edgy, but didn’t really have a point.

Part 1619: Woker Than Thou
O’Rourke went extreme on the crime question, but his audience might not have been the voters.

The moderators made up for Tulsi Gabbard’s absence by asking Harris about all the poor people she put in jail.

Amy Klobuchar got a similar question, but everyone was too busy posting memes to listen.

Biden accidentally proposed a mass amnesty for white-color criminals.

Part .30-06: Bobby’s Coming For Your Guns

The discussion moved, as it must, to guns. As usual, the candidates sparred over a minor point. Some wanted to seize all of them, some only wanted to confiscate some.
Biden suggested using legislation. Harris had other ideas.

O’Rourke skipped over that ol’ Constitution too in announcing that he’d confiscate everybody’s semi-automatic rifles—but just the ones designed to kill people.

Part ∞: Potpourri
Halfway through, and it was already going on too long. After scarcely mentioning him in the first two rounds, everyone seemed to realize that a Democrat might want to claim Barack Obama’s legacy as his own.

Other retired politicians were conspicuous in their absence from the debate chatter.

They talked immigration, and Beto said to just tear down that pesky border

On trade protection, the candidates were all offered the opportunity to say how they would repeal Trump’s tariffs as soon as they got to the White House. Amazingly, NONE of them said they would do so.

Harris suggested she was not a protectionist, but will probably issue a correction tomorrow.

While Warren sounded like she copied the president’s notes.

Corey Booker made an actual joke, which was nice for the folks still awake.

Bernie, uh, you know.

They finally got into foreign policy.

Harris flailed helplessly.

Biden started fading.

Is there anything more senatorial than forgetting which country you wanted to dismember?
Booker got a question about veganism, and was disarmingly clever—who is this guy and what happened to shouty Spartacus?

There was some talk about education, and Biden was surprisingly old-school.

Just as we neared the end, the protesters started hollering. And at the least appropriate moment.

Their message was incomprehensible, and the show moved on.

It was time to shut it down.

There were a few more closing statements about resilience.

But what was the real takeaway?