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10 Things You Won’t See Republicans Doing After Losing The House

Democrats seem not to be able to stop themselves from throwing all manner of tantrums when politics doesn’t go their way. Republicans, not so much.

  1. Having public tantrums and beating on the doors of Congress, the way that Kavanaugh confirmation protesters did on the doors of the Supreme Court.
  2. Wearing any items of clothing meant to reference genitalia, like Women’s Marchers.
  3. Demanding grief counselors and coloring books in schools and offices, the way real-life grown-ups did in 2016.
  4. Playing dress-up as characters of the same dystopian novel over and over again, while using its characters to condescend to political opponents and ignoring real patriarchal abuses of women’s rights all over the world.
  5. Stripping naked to get out the vote, like some left-leaning celebrities did for the midterms.
  6. Making plans to meet up in public on the anniversary of the election date next year to scream at the sky.
  7. Doxxing newly elected Democratic Congressmen and women, or chasing them out of restaurants.
  8. Declaring that our adopted daughters were better off in authoritarian China.
  9. Assuming that Democrat voters made their decisions because they meekly bent to pressure from family members.
  10. Pronouncing the House of Representatives an illegitimate institution because the election didn’t go our way, like the Democrats have the Electoral College, Supreme Court, and the Senate.