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The Collective Freakout Over Melania’s Shoes Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things


They’re just shoes. Get over it.


While she boarded Air Force One to visit Texans affected by hurricane Harvey and the deadly, rising floodwaters, first lady Melania Trump was spotted wearing a pair of stilettos and the Internet lost its mind.

Beltway reporters couldn’t resist commenting.

Vogue and Pret-a-Reporter responded to the image with their respective hot takes.

“Manolos are the new rain boots,” Sam Reed wrote.

When Melania arrived in Texas, she was wearing sneakers—a development I assumed would put this story to rest. Nope.

Reed doubled down and wrote the following, even hotter take with the following headline: “MELANIA TRUMP ARRIVES IN TEXAS WEARING SNEAKERS AFTER FACING HEAT FOR LEAVING D.C. IN STILETTOS.”

“Melania Trump changes into trainers and CAP as she arrives in Texas with Donald Trump,” Express reports.

From USA Today: “Melania Trump swaps stilettos for sneakers, FLOTUS cap in flooded south Texas.”

This story Will. Not. Die. And the sanctimonious followup pieces, which read like a verbal pat-on-the-back, are gross.

“Look, we got Melania to change her shoes!” you can almost hear them say. “We’re so woke!”

Meanwhile, at least 14 people have died in the dangerous storm that’s still pelting Texas and Louisiana. Among the dead are a family of six who drowned attempting to escape the rising waters. But beltway Twitter’s priorities are obvious: “Let’s talk about the First Lady’s shoes!”

Perhaps what’s so annoying about the perpetual fainting spell regarding the Trump women’s fashion choices is that we all know if it were a previous administration, beltway Twitter’s reaction would be something along the lines of: “Slay, kween!”

In a recent column published here at The Federalist, Bridget Phetasy sums up the absurdity of the continual “claws out” attitude towards the Trump women.

I hate myself for even wasting my time writing about shoes, but here we are, because now heels have suddenly become some symbol of #MAGA. Stop politicizing every single thing. If you turn everything into a movement, nothing is a movement.

At least one good thing has come out of ShoeGate.