Every Facebook Article On Politics Captured In This One Post

Every Facebook Article On Politics Captured In This One Post

Facebook teapot tempests follow a distinct pattern.

I have an opinion on a hot topic.

What’s that? You disagree with me? Are you kidding? I wish you could see me rolling my eyes. You must be an idiot.

Okay, perhaps my sharing of this meme from my favorite politically polarized website will convince you of the weakness of your position. It perfectly encapsulates the worldview of all right-minded persons. How’s them apples?

What do you mean, “Them apples are oranges?” Don’t get caught up in the accuracy thing, pal. That’s details. It’s the sentiment that counts.

Look, you can say it’s based on a false premise all you want, but how can you disagree with the heartfelt emotions behind it? What part of heartfelt emotions do you not understand? Geez!

Look, you can say it’s based on a false premise all you want, but how can you disagree with the heartfelt emotions behind it?

There’s no time for your detached analysis. This is urgent! Perhaps this quote from a universally adored historical figure will set you straight.

How do you know he never said that? The quote is alongside a photo of his face!

Well, it just so happens that he probably would have said it. Whatever.

Here’s an analogy my friend posted. Straight and to the point.

What does it mean? It’s an analogy! This thing now is just like that thing then. Therefore they are exactly the same thing!

I’m not very familiar with that thing then so I don’t know what you mean by “not an analogy.” It’s like you’re determined to not agree with me despite all the facts I keep presenting! This is very frustrating.

Please notice that I have taken the effort to ‘Like’ this article that very eloquently states my case.

Well, obviously there are two ways to see this issue: My way and the wrong way. Please notice that I have taken the effort to “Like” this article that very eloquently states my case.

Dude, you don’t have to read the article as long as the headline resonates with you. Plus, the publication that posted it called it “Powerful.” What more do you need than that?

Oh my god. I have never had to work so hard to convince someone of the supremacy of my point of view. Time to bring out the big guns. Behold: A two-panel cartoon!

No? Not enough? You’re killing me. What then?

WHAT? Oh, I don’t have time for that.

Let’s just agree to disagree. This was never intended to be a two-way conversation anyway.

Brian Sack writes things of varying lengths with the best of intentions. He once had a very funny show on a network that ran out of money. www.briansack.com
Related Posts