Have you ever ripped open an interdimensional portal, walked through it, then realized maybe you’re not having a flashback…or is it just me? No, it can’t only be me. Surely we’re on Earth 2 right now. There’s no other way to explain the melting deer and the Jabberwock. We need help, we need a distraction, we need to gyre and gimble in the wabe. Thankfully, Chief Justice Roberts ensured we can all get the medical attention we need.

Ben, I’ve been meaning to ask you about this, as well.

The art of negotiating.

The origins of the “just be nice” bumper sticker.

A goose would be better.

As many as you can smuggle in should be fine.

These guys will handle any excess falcons.

I wish my kids got scared at night so I could try this.

Just kidding. My daughters will one day be able to say this, although I regularly threaten to feed them to velociraptors.

Although I may be raising them to talk like this.

Which wouldn’t happen if the wife and I hadn’t also made this mistake.

At least they don’t do this.

I can relate.

I may have written things like this on cards for co-workers.

Free-range parenting.

He’s interrupted himself twice now, too.


We should bring this tradition back.


Babies aren’t that tough.

There’s a reason I’ve heard glitter referred to as stripper flakes.

Speaking of strippers.

Excellent question.

Time to take Pinchy for a walk.

But what if it’s a hex?

Is our children learning?

Seriously, is they?


I once had a commenter whine quite a bit about me using this word. I threw him out a window.

Pets are awesome.

How to win friends and influence people.

Especially ones raised by Billy Ray Cyrus.

That’s why you get Prime.

Maybe there was an Amazon drone getting ready to hit the kid.


Inspiration comes from many sources.

Same, but in my defense I was really hung over and it was my cat’s litter box.

It’s good to have a hobby.

True story.


It was all a trick by the National Raisin Reserve.


Now, the tweet of the week. This one was found by Fancy Bill McMorris. I’ve notified the authorities.

‘Til next week, kids. And don’t forget to enjoy the magic of sweet air, aka air conditioning. Unless you’re feeling bound by the latest encyclical.