In a recent interview with Vanity Fair, Rihanna explained why she hasn’t been having sex lately. The 27-year-old said men just don’t treat women as they ought to, and she isn’t going to put up with it anymore.
Now men are afraid to be men. […] They won’t be a gentleman because that makes them appear soft. That’s what we’re dealing with now, a hundred percent, and girls are settling for that, but I won’t. I will wait forever if I have to. That’s why I haven’t been having sex or even really seeing anybody.
Her advice makes a lot of sense. Repeatedly we’ve been hearing about the demise of millennial relationships being caused by thoughtless or lazy young men. While certainly not all millennial men are this way, on the whole men aren’t incentivized to treat women well because there are a surplus of women in many circles. But if enough women were to boycott rude behavior, perhaps men would take the hint and actually invest in relationships instead of fishing for casual sex, which they perceive as plentiful.
The singer also points out that sex outside of commitment is meaningless and empty:
I mean I get horny, I’m human, I’m a woman, I want to have sex. But what am I going to do—just find the first random cute dude that I think is going to be a great ride for the night and then tomorrow I wake up feeling empty and hollow? […] I can’t do it to myself. I cannot. It has a little bit to do with fame and a lot to do with the woman that I am. And that saves me.”
Yes, women get horny, too, just like men do. However, Rihanna’s words also touch on something many women have stopped admitting: we are different than men. We experience and think about sex differently. It affects us differently than it affects a man, and it’s okay to admit that. Rihanna’s words are great advice for all women who may feel the pressures of modern feminism to pretend that casual sex doesn’t take an emotional toll and can be physically damaging. She values herself enough to admit that sex is a BFD, and that participating in it at a casual capacity hurts her.
Rihanna’s solution is also empowering:
It is lonely, but I have so much work to do that I get distracted. I don’t have time to be lonely. And I get fearful of relationships because I feel guilty about wanting someone to be completely faithful and loyal, when I can’t even give them 10 percent of the attention that they need. It’s just the reality of my time, my life, my schedule.
She’s refreshingly honest about what it’s like to take a break from dating. Yes, it feels lonely from time to time, but that’s okay. Loneliness is an aspect of life. Using sex to fill that void is, as Rihanna has found, more trouble than it’s worth. So, ladies, don’t waste your time having casual sex with beta males in hopes that your Prince Charming will show up. Take Rihanna’s advice and keep yourself busy.