10 July 4th Traditions More Appropriate Than Claire McCaskill’s

10 July 4th Traditions More Appropriate Than Claire McCaskill’s

Former Missouri Sen. Claire McCaskill is ditching the classic red, white, and blue-themed Fourth of July BBQ, opting instead to celebrate our country’s independence by watching news footage of the January 6 capitol breach. 

“We’re going to start a new family tradition in my family. On the Fourth of July and every Fourth of July going forward, we’re going to watch that video that The New York Times put together of January 6th,” McCaskill said on MSNBC’s “Morning Joe.” 

The video, titled “Day of Rage,” is an “in-depth look at how a mob stormed the capitol.” McCaskill also suggested that the January 6th breach was “more foundation shaking to our democracy” than the killing of Americans in Benghazi, Libya. 

While her new tradition sounds riveting, here are a few much more patriotic and enjoyable ways to celebrate the holiday:

1. Watch ‘Team America: World Police’

“America, F*** yeah!!” Family fun for everyone. 

2. Waterboard Lobsters

A classic American pastime.

3. Burn a Statue of a Founding Father

There’s a chance the mob missed a few — strike while the iron’s hot. 

4. Joe Biden Drinking Game

Drink every time he looks like he’s having a stroke — can’t guarantee you’ll last long enough to see the fireworks.

5. Ceremonial Lighting of the American Flag

Thought Olympians had a monopoly on disrespecting the flag? Think again.

6. Redcoat Party

Bonus points if you lead a heartfelt rendition of “God save the queen.” 

7. Book Reading of the Communist Manifesto

If it’s not in a dingy used bookstore that has an entire wall dedicated to women’s studies, it doesn’t count. 

8. Donate 16 Cents to our Local Homeless Shelter

If you’re saving this much on your July 4th cookout, it’d be a crime not to give it back to the community.

9. Fireworks at Mount Rushmore

BYOF (Bring Your Own Fireworks). 

10. Critical Race Theory Bingo

Remember to follow the rules — you only get a free space if you’re black. 

Really, anything would be more patriotic than McCaskill’s suggestion. That’s not tough to do. But the best — and most honorable way — to spend the holiday is to remember that it’s a day dedicated to America’s vigorous pursuit of freedom. Celebrate reverently, knowing there’s a legacy of people who made the celebration of this beautiful country possible. 

Haley Strack is an intern at The Federalist and a student at Hillsdale College studying politics and journalism. Follow her on Twitter @StrackHaley or reach her at [email protected]
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