Former FBI director James Comey will testify in front of the Senate Intelligence Committee this morning, beginning at 10 a.m., about his conversations with President Trump regarding the Russia investigation.
Here’s the ultimate drinking guide to get you through the Comey hearing.
Take One Sip
Whenever Comey says “Not that I recall.”
If Comey asks a senator to rephrase a question.
If the former FBI director says “Not at this time,” or “Not in this setting.”
Take Two Sips
If Comey mentions his family’s background in law enforcement.
If the former FBI director says he feels “uncomfortable.”
If Comey says: “I’ll defer to Robert Mueller.”
Whenever someone takes a sip of water.
If a visual aid is trotted out.
Whenever Hillary Clinton’s emails are mentioned.
Take a Shot
If Comey goes full Dave Chappelle.
You hear the word “covfefe.”
Finish Your Drink
When a senator says he or she is running out of time.
Whenever Dianne Feinstein imperiously looks over her reading glasses.
If a senator bangs on his or her desk to make a point.
Whenever “golden showers” are alluded to or mentioned.