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Politico Finally Started Asking Tough Questions About The Clintons

Politico finally decided to act like a real news organization by sticking it to the Clinton family with these remarkably tough questions.


Did I say “tough questions”? I meant fluff questions. Politico is asking fluff questions about the Clintons. I apologize for the error. Get a load of the latest blast of investigative journalism from Washington’s toughest news bureau:

I’m not making this up. They actually published that.

Here’s an excerpt from the story by Politico’s Kendall Breitman:

After Chelsea Clinton and Mark Mezvinsky’s daughter was born at 7:03 pm at Lenox Hill Hospital on Manhattan’s Upper East Side on Friday, POLITICO asked astrologers to weigh in on what is written in the stars for the former first daughter’s first daughter.

In all seriousness, I legitimately feel awful for Breitman, who almost certainly did not sign up for this type of work. I’m sure she’s just trying to make the best of a terrible, terrible task from her assignment editor, who is probably the real villain here.

That said, here’s what one of the astrological experts delusional snake oil salesmen contacted by Politico had to say about Chelsea’s baby:

John Marchesella, the Education Director for the astrology organization the National Council for Geocosmic Research, predicted that her political endeavors would be focused in economics.

“Although she is likely to have political leanings, a strong humanitarian nature, she’s likely to do so from the position of power and money…even if she does have a political future, it would be from the side of politics that is more about finance,” Marchesella said.

Oh, the stars told you that the grandchild of a former president and potential future president might do things from a position of power and money? And that this child might be interested in politics? That’s some real astrological insight right there.

“Come on,” you might say. “Every news org does fluff garbage from time to time. Let them have fun with this one story.” Alright, I get that, I guess. Except this wasn’t the first star-focused story on the subject. Here’s Politico on Sept. 27:

According to her star sign, Charlotte Clinton Mezvinsky may be suited to a career helping the world as part of a nonprofit or as a fundraiser.

That figures, right?

That bombshell was dropped on Washington by Politico’s Daniella Diaz. And who could forget this journalistic gem, which received full feature treatment by Politico Magazine?

This Is How Journalism Dies

And in case you’re wondering: yes, this is the same publication that made sure its readers knew about Lois Lerner’s love of brownies and animals. It’s also the same publication that pushed this “How well do you know Chelsea Clinton?” quiz. At least we can all breathe easy knowing that a major national news organization is focused like a laser on accountability in Washington.