6 Stupid Arguments About Hobby Lobby From Dumb Liberals
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6 Stupid Arguments About Hobby Lobby From Dumb Liberals

The Supreme Court’s decision today affirming the right of business owners to run their businesses in accordance with their religious beliefs has caused no small amount of consternation among the anti-science, functionally illiterate Left. The Supreme Court just banned birth control forever. Male justices just imprisoned women across America. If you don’t buy my stuff for me, it means you want to ban that stuff. And so on and so forth.

Thanks to the wonder of the Internet, we have been given a wealth of riches when it comes to stupid arguments from stupid people. Here are the 6 dumbest arguments from dumb liberals about the Hobby Lobby decision.

1) The Supreme Court is denying access to birth control.

Right. Because nothing “denies access” like paying employees a wage that they can then use to buy whatever they want.

2) The Supreme Court is discriminating against women.

Oddly enough, the only contraception-related discrimination baked into law by Obamacare was against men. After all, male contraception like condoms or vasectomies was never covered by the law. Thanks for playing, Markos!

3) The men on the Supreme Court shouldn’t be allowed to rule on decisions that affect women.

Good call, Harry.

4) The Hobby Lobby case had nothing to do with abortion and everything to do with birth control.

That one gets bonus points for squeezing both the “it’s not about abortion!” and “the Supreme Court banned birth control!” lies into 140 characters. It loses points, however, for not mentioning Bush, Halliburton, or the Kochs.

The truth of the matter is that the case was about abortion, specifically four types of contraception that can result in the destruction of a fertilized egg. Hobby Lobby paid for 16 different types of non-abortive contraceptive coverage for its employees. The anti-science Left, however, argues that a fertilized egg doesn’t count as human life, and therefore there’s nothing wrong with killing one. After all, nothing says “pro-Science” like comparing a human embryo to a fingernail.

The Nobel committee eagerly awaits the report on your monumental scientific achievement.

5) The Supreme Court decision just proves that GOP wingnuts want to control my bedroom.

I think I can speak for most conservatives when I say that I want literally nothing to do with whatever it has that happens in your bedroom. But you’re going to need to pay for whatever happens in there by yourself.

6) Your boss shouldn’t make health care decisions for you.

They actually have a point here. Unfortunately the irony of simultaneously supporting that argument and Obamacare’s employer health care mandates is lost on them. Over to you, Sen. Kay Hagan (D-N.C.)

Oddly enough, a great way to prevent employers from making health care decisions for their employees is to not pass laws requiring employers to make health care decisions for their employees. Crazy, right?

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