The Supreme Court’s decision today affirming the right of business owners to run their businesses in accordance with their religious beliefs has caused no small amount of consternation among the anti-science, functionally illiterate Left. The Supreme Court just banned birth control forever. Male justices just imprisoned women across America. If you don’t buy my stuff for me, it means you want to ban that stuff. And so on and so forth.
Thanks to the wonder of the Internet, we have been given a wealth of riches when it comes to stupid arguments from stupid people. Here are the 6 dumbest arguments from dumb liberals about the Hobby Lobby decision.
1) The Supreme Court is denying access to birth control.
Can't believe we live in a world where we'd even consider letting big corps deny women access to basic care based on vague moral objections.
— Elizabeth Warren (@elizabethforma) June 30, 2014
Disturbed by the Supreme Court's decision to allow bosses to deny access to contraceptive care, including birth control. #notmybossbusiness
— Sean Eldridge (@SeanEldridge) June 30, 2014
— Sandra Fluke (@SandraFluke) June 27, 2014
Right. Because nothing “denies access” like paying employees a wage that they can then use to buy whatever they want.
I'm kind of hungry for lunch, but my employer doesn't buy my lunch for me. It gives me cash to buy food. Which means I'm going to starve.
2) The Supreme Court is discriminating against women.
Gotta make a list: Viagra? Okay. Vasectomies? Okay. Female birth control? Nope. What differentiates these, I wonder?
— Markos Moulitsas (@markos) June 30, 2014
Oddly enough, the only contraception-related discrimination baked into law by Obamacare was against men. After all, male contraception like condoms or vasectomies was never covered by the law. Thanks for playing, Markos!
Good Q! Obamacare never covered vasectomies or condoms. MT @markos Vasectomies? Okay. Female birth control? Nope. What differentiates these?
3) The men on the Supreme Court shouldn’t be allowed to rule on decisions that affect women.
Senate ML Harry Reid on SCOTUS Hobby Lobby ruling: "It's time that five men on the Supreme Court stop deciding what happens to women."
— Susan Ferrechio (@susanferrechio) June 30, 2014
Good call, Harry.
Remember that time @SenatorReid praised the all-female circuit court panel for slapping down Planned Parenthood's TX abortion law challenge?
4) The Hobby Lobby case had nothing to do with abortion and everything to do with birth control.
Every single article about the Hobby Lobby case should absolutely mention that PLAN B HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH ABORTION! FEELINGS AREN'T FACTS
— Big Tits Will Weldon (@oldmanweldon) June 30, 2014
— LOLGOP (@LOLGOP) June 30, 2014
That one gets bonus points for squeezing both the “it’s not about abortion!” and “the Supreme Court banned birth control!” lies into 140 characters. It loses points, however, for not mentioning Bush, Halliburton, or the Kochs.
The truth of the matter is that the case was about abortion, specifically four types of contraception that can result in the destruction of a fertilized egg. Hobby Lobby paid for 16 different types of non-abortive contraceptive coverage for its employees. The anti-science Left, however, argues that a fertilized egg doesn’t count as human life, and therefore there’s nothing wrong with killing one. After all, nothing says “pro-Science” like comparing a human embryo to a fingernail.
— Andy Caldwell (@AndyCaldwell_2) June 30, 2014
If you're going to argue human life doesn't begin at conception, the burden is on you to create human life in its absence. Godspeed.
The Nobel committee eagerly awaits the report on your monumental scientific achievement.
5) The Supreme Court decision just proves that GOP wingnuts want to control my bedroom.
Welcome to the bedroom of your employees, Hobby Lobby.
— Josh (@VagrantSays) June 30, 2014
I think I can speak for most conservatives when I say that I want literally nothing to do with whatever it has that happens in your bedroom. But you’re going to need to pay for whatever happens in there by yourself.
"Get your politics out of my bedroom!" "Not a problem. I'm just going to grab my wallet before I leave." "The wallet stays, bigot."
6) Your boss shouldn’t make health care decisions for you.
They actually have a point here. Unfortunately the irony of simultaneously supporting that argument and Obamacare’s employer health care mandates is lost on them. Over to you, Sen. Kay Hagan (D-N.C.)
Disappointed in the SCOTUS Hobby Lobby ruling. Healthcare should be decided between a woman & her Dr.— not her boss. #NotMyBossesBusiness
— Senator Kay Hagan (@SenatorHagan) June 30, 2014
Oddly enough, a great way to prevent employers from making health care decisions for their employees is to not pass laws requiring employers to make health care decisions for their employees. Crazy, right?
Except when it comes to paying for it. MT @SandraFluke A woman’s boss should not have a say in her health care decisions
— Jim Treacher (@jtLOL) June 30, 2014
"Your boss shouldn't dictate your private life." – people who support a health care law that forces me to buy something I don't want
— Matthew (@Matthops82) June 30, 2014
Hobby Lobby lawyer: "Hobby Lobby would love to stay out of this, and leave this decision to a woman and her doctor." http://t.co/vfxjZytHRI
— Dan McLaughlin (@baseballcrank) June 30, 2014