Last month, conservative news host Jesse Kelly told Megyn Kelly on her podcast that “the mentally ill single woman is the beating heart of the Democrat Party.”
He proclaimed over 70 percent of single women vote Democrat. Furthermore, he declared that “studies” show approximately 60 percent of those women had been diagnosed with some sort of mental illness.
Kelly (the man) joked that everyone knows a woman with “her eyes half bugged out of her skull. … She ruins Thanksgiving every time bragging about her 15th abortion!” While Kelly’s exaggerations made me laugh, I simultaneously thought to myself, Oh crap. He’s talking about me. Or at least who I used to be. And while I’ve not had 15, or even one abortion — thank the Lord — I have been known to ruin a perfectly fine family event.
Failures of a Girl Boss Goddess Wannabe
I spent over two decades trapped in leftist culture, mostly in Los Angeles, racking up plenty of cringeworthy moments, some still on public display, forever memorialized by the internet. Progressive single women tend to overshare.
In the circles I ran, there was a lot of talk about being a “goddess.” We spiritually minded gals were never single through any fault of our own, but because men don’t appreciate “evolved” women who have “done the work” to be in a “conscious” relationship. Of course, being dateless had nothing to do with the fact that such work lends itself to extreme narcissism and an air of arrogance. Humility is not exactly a defining characteristic of the left.
I became convinced that career success would be as fulfilling, if not more so, than being in a relationship or becoming a mother. Achieving independent “boss lady” status would be my crowning achievement. Newsflash: It has not been. Frankly, it’s difficult managing life and all its challenges alone, particularly financial.
The left gives single women like me a lot of rationale to feel better about themselves and the poor choices they’ve made. The message was that sex without commitment is empowering, despite the very real possibility of it leading to dreadful outcomes, including sexual abuse. While being overpowered by a man is never a consequence any woman deserves, women should always be willing to cast a critical eye toward their own behavior. It probably was not the wisest thing for me to dress like a hooker, get drunk, and vow revenge on an ex back in college. My bad.
But victimhood is the necessary tool of the left. While womanhood is not as high on the victim hierarchy as it once was, particularly at a time when many seem to find it difficult to define what a woman is, it can still be used to effectively cry foul against the evil patriarchy.
Leftist policies make it easy for women to avoid the consequences of bad behavior that would normally serve as course correctors, and progressive ideology must always deflect blame. Messy, drunk sex? No problem. The Pill or an abortion will solve that. Just ask Olivia Rodrigo. Overweight because you don’t take care of your body or your health? Of course, that’s society’s fault for pushing an unrealistic standard of beauty. And who cares because, well — Ozempic! Right, Oprah? Not earning enough money to gallivant the globe like a paid influencer? Clearly, that’s the patriarchy at work!
But, of course, there are consequences. It is the depression, unfulfillment, loneliness, and yes, sometimes mental instability that often comes with living a life focused solely on yourself and casting off any sense of responsibility.
Under the Righteousness Is Pain and Disappointment
I earnestly tried to understand why I ended up dating the fifth jackass in a month, but I kept looking to the wrong people for help. I did all the things the “experts,” therapists, or, worst of all, life coaches told me to do to find success in dating or a relationship with no success. I’ll never forget the day my so-called shaman told me if I were ready for the relationship I wanted, then he (meaning a partner) would be here by now, implying that I needed to embark on more psychedelic sessions that, of course, lined his pockets and emptied mine. I’ll let you guess which one of us drove around in a Porsche Cayenne.
More often than not, these so-called professionals have never sustained a healthy relationship themselves. It’s like going to a gambler for financial advice. Better to go to the married woman down the street to get the real low-down on marriage rather than people who have no clue what it means to sacrifice your own desires for the good of another. I’ve now found that a cocktail or glass of wine with my girlfriends, along with church, is better and cheaper therapy than any “relationship coach” I’ve ever sought out.
The danger with all this “self-care” is that women think they are healing when actually, they are morphing into if not a mentally ill, as Kelly points out, then a highly unstable person, becoming more obstinate in their worldview and convinced of their righteousness. Underneath that righteousness is a lot of pain and disappointment, ready to explode at the slightest microaggression or innocent male who attempts to flirt.
For all the talk of female empowerment, progressive women are actually fragile and quite afraid of being labeled as unkind or lacking in empathy, so they rarely question the narrative they’ve been fed. The result is the hypocrisy the left is so well known for — a caring and compassionate veneer with a heart full of judgment and anger. Indeed, hell hath no fury like a single liberal woman.
I’d like to state for the record that not all single liberal women are like this. I have several friends who are very steady and in long-term relationships or marriages and still consider themselves left of center. However, I’ll also point out to them how, despite their fairly progressive views, they live a rather conservative, if maybe unconventional, life. They are liberal in the old-school sort of way, not the crazy, hair on fire, you can be any gender you want kind of way.
However, this was not the kind of liberal I was. I was insufferable and immature. I was exactly the kind of woman Kelly described. I’ve grieved over my past mistakes and missteps and asked for forgiveness, in some cases from particular people, but mostly from God. Because of His grace, I have changed. I am a happier, more peaceful, genuinely confident woman.
I’m filled with gratitude that God turned me in the “right” (pun intended) direction. I’m just sorry I didn’t do it sooner. I pray other women don’t fall into the same progressive pitfalls I did, but it’s never too late to choose a life of sanity. Such were some of you.
